You Don't Really Know Me
by LittleLiarC
Summary: Just as a new friendship starts to blossom between Ella and Ashley, an unanticipAted twist causes the two ladies to form an unexpected bond. But as Ella struggles to deal with the reality of A's games, even with the support of Ashley and some other Rosewood residents, how far will A go in order to hurt her? - Not slash! Title from the Jessie J song that kinda inspired this story!
1. Chapter 1

**_Hello all and welcome to my first ever PLL fan fiction. _**

**_I'm a little bit nervous because I binge watched the first 5 seasons up to where we are in like 3 weeks so I don't know if I'm really in a position to be writing about characters that I've known for less than a month. But having taken a look around the fanfiction section on here there are some pretty incredible stories but not really any that explore the AshleyElla relationship. I know we've only ever had (I think) the one scene with just the two of them where they talk about being divorced / dating again, but it's a relationship that I think would be really interesting and sweet._**

**_I've written the first 4 chapters at the moment but before I continue I wanted to know whether anyone was actually interested. I know they're not particularly popular characters so maybe no one will actually have an interest in reading? _**

**_The first chapter's almost more of an introduction. As I said they have no real relationship in the show past having daughters that are friends, so I didn't want to suddenly write about them being BFF's. I hope the pace is okay because I didn't want to drag everything out but at the same time I also hate stories that feel rushed. _**

**_Right I'm going to stop rambling now, let me know what you think / whether you're interested in the characters. _**

**_Kisses, C _**

**_Ps. This is a T at the moment but I might change it depending on how I feel when I reread chapter two. There is going to be mature content, I just don't know whether it's T mature or M mature... I'll have a think. _**

**_Oh and this is not a slashfic... at least at the moment haha. I'll see where the plot bunnies take me but I can't see it being in that direction. ;)_**

* * *

_Hi A, don't suppose you're free tonight? x_

_I can be. Is everything okay? x_

_ are the opposite to okay. Can't talk now class have just come in. See you later? x_

_Mine at 7? Everyone's out. x_

_See you at 7. x _

AE - AE - AE

Ella knocked at the door and waited patiently for it to be opened. Okay so not as patiently as she normally would. She fidgeted and looked behind her and checked her phone. She didn't want anyone to know she was here. She didn't want anyone to know why.

"Hi Ella, come in."

The door had opened and the occupant had let her inside. Taking a deep breath the 41 year old walked in and shut the door behind her. "Thank you so much, I really appreciate this. I… I needed to talk to someone but… All of my friends are at home with their husbands and their kids and I just…"

"Ella take a breath. Let's sit down, grab a bottle of wine, and we can talk about whatever it is that has an intelligent English teacher talking in worse sentences than my 17 year old daughter."

Ella managed a small laugh. "Thank you. Well not thank you for the English teacher dig but… for everything else. Thank you."

"Ella"

"Yes?"

"Just sit down."

Ella laughed softly and then sat down at the kitchen table while the host went to a rather empty looking fridge and pulled out a chilled bottle of white wine.

"This one work for you?"

"Anything strong and alcoholic will work for me at the moment. I'm not really that fussed about the taste."

Ashley laughed and poured them both a large glass before sitting down opposite her daughter's friend's mother. "What can I do for you Ella?"

"I'm sorry I probably shouldn't be here but when I split up from Byron you were so good to me. I know we only really have a connection because of our daughters but I didn't know who else to turn to. I felt so stupid."

"I'm sure whatever it is you have no reason to feel stupid, but if you want me to offer more advice than that I'm going to need a little more information. And just for the record I consider you a friend Ella."

Ella offered a small smile and took a sip of her wine. "You heard about what happened with Zack?

Ashley nodded. "I'm really sorry Ella, I genuinely thought he was… well, not what he turned out to be."

"I'm sorry."

Ashley tilted her head to the side looking a little confused. "What on earth are you sorry for? He's the creep that was engaged to you and then tried to hit on my daughter who is half his age."

"I'm the reason he was around your daughter Ashley, and he's half MY age." Ella could feel her cheeks getting red and it wasn't because of the wine that sat half finished between her slightly sweaty palms.

Ashley leant forward and took one of those hands. "Ella I'm only going to tell you this once. What happened with him and Hanna was NOT your fault. Not even a little bit. He would have done that whether he was with you or not." She paused. "Oh god sorry that probably doesn't make you feel any better does it?" Ella shook her head but smiled a little at Ashley's foot in mouth moment as she continued. "And he isn't even close to half of your age. I'm much older than you and he isn't even half MY age." Ashley thought about Jason who pretty much was half her age and felt her stomach sink a little lower. "And even then… you couldn't blame yourself. Or maybe you could… I really don't know anymore."

Ella raised her eyebrows. "I'd point out what a dreadful job you were doing of making me feel better about myself but I have a feeling that last bit wasn't about me?" She looked in concern at her friend. "Is there something you want to talk about?"

Ashley opened her mouth and then shut it again before reopening it to say "hey this is about you, don't deflect."

Ella didn't want to push so she just nodded her head in acceptance and took another sip of her wine. "Ergh how did my life end up so messed up? One minute I'm a happily married woman with two children and now… one of them had a break down, one of them started messing around with her English teacher. Then my marriage fell apart. I thought I'd got as low as I could but oh no, why not make the situation a hundred times worse by embarrassing myself genuinely thinking someone like Zack would have any interest in an old woman like me."

"Ella you're not old. And he wouldn't have asked you to go away with him if he didn't genuinely like you. Relationships fall apart sometimes. The way he treated you was not okay. But that doesn't mean he didn't ever care about you."

"He might have cared Ashley, but he certainly never loved me."

There was a moment of silence. "I don't know sweetheart. But if he didn't then he's a fool."

"I gave him my heart."

"I know sweetheart."

"And he broke it."

Tears were starting to fall down the younger woman's face now and Ashley felt at a bit of a loss. She wasn't so great at this. She could just about cope with her daughter's emotions, but she wasn't really someone that other people came to as a shoulder to cry on. And for good reason. She was actually pretty dreadful. Last time was different. It was just one divorced woman talking to another about starting over. A bit of a chat. But nothing too intense. Just some dating advice. This… this was a whole other ball game.

Pulling herself together she stood up, got the bottle of wine, topped up both of their glasses, and then hesitated before saying. "Ella I would love to give you all of the answers you need right now. But I can't. They're answers that only Zack could give you and I don't think you're in a place where you're ready to have that chat with him yet. But I will tell you one thing honey, you aren't the only person that's making a mess of this whole being divorced thing. I thought I had everything sorted when I met Ted. And then the whole murder thing happened and I thought I'd lost him and I was so so scared that I'd lost my only chance of happiness. When I found out he was the one that posted the bail money… I had everything. Everything I'd ever wanted. Even my grumpy daughter loved him. He proposed to me last night Ella, and I couldn't say yes."

She stopped and Ella raised her eyebrows. "You didn't want to say yes to marrying a guy that you just said yourself is perfect and that your daughter supports your relationship with?"

"I don't deserve him Ella."

"You deserve to be happy."

"No I don't."

"Why?"

The look between them was intense now, neither one of them sure they were ready to hear the answer to that question out loud.

"Because I am just as bad as Zack, Ella. I cheated on Ted."

Silence.

"Who? Why?" Ella couldn't keep the look of shock off her face. Of all the people to cheat… Ashley had been in that position just like she had. Why would she do that to someone else when she knew perfectly well how it felt.

It was Ashley's turn to cry now. Warm tears were flowing down her cheeks, leaving smudges of black mascara in their wake.

"Because I was lonely. I know that makes me a horrible person. I know he waited for me for months when I was inside. But he was gone for three months and I felt like I used to when I was married and I just… I don't know Ella. I screwed up okay. Please don't look at me like you hate me, I've already had Hanna do that."

"I don't hate you Ashley, and neither does Hanna. Wait. How does she know?"

"She walked in as he was leaving."

"Who's he?"

"Please… Ella I… I can't do this."

Ella sighed. "Ashley I can't pretend I'm okay with this. Cheating is never okay. We know that more than most. But I also can't pretend that I don't understand. When I got back together with Byron the first time and we were fighting… I was so lonely. I get that. I get feeling like you're totally on your own. I'd like to say that I could never do the same as you, but I can't be sure of that. So I'm here, as your friend, not asking for a name, just to know whether it's someone that would be likely to tell Ted?"

"I don't know."

"Then you need to tell him yourself. Because we both know how it feels to find out from someone else. And we both know it will be far better coming from you."

"I know."

The two women held one another's gaze for a second before going back to their wine. Ashley finished her glass and then turned her attention back to Ella. "Thank you. For not lying to me. Not pretending this is okay. But being there for me anyway."

"You were wrong earlier Ashley. You're not a horrible person."

"Then maybe Zack isn't either."

"Maybe." Ella thought for a second. "No wait. Why are we defending him. He hit on your 17 year old daughter. That is not okay."

"True. He's a total sleazebag. Which means you're too good for him Ella."

She brunette sighed and shook her head unsure. There was no defending what Zack did but she was clearly kidding herself to believe it wouldn't happen eventually. Whatever they had… it was clearly just the novelty of being with an older women that captured his attention. Once that had worn off there was just nothing in it for him anymore.

Ashley, sensing the mood, stood up and retrieved another bottle of wine from the fridge. "Did I ever tell you about the date I went on before Ted?"

"I don't think so."

"Oh boy do I have a story to tell you. Let me refill our glasses first though, you're going to need it."

Thoughts of their current love lives aside, they reminisced about other unsuccessful dating experiences, their lives before children, and anything else you share with a new friend after copious amounts of alcohol.

At around three in the morning Ella ordered a taxi back to her apartment.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Thank you to the lovely azulastar for your review. **_

**_The next chapter is where things take a darker turn. I've actually spent the last two hours going through it and rewriting everything because it's one of the most important parts and I want it to be perfect. I'm also in the process of making some edits to chapter one as well because I think I got a little too eager and posted it before it was ready. _**

**_Anyway on with the story. Please let me know what you think, feedback really helps especially when I'm making edits. _**

* * *

Chapter Two

Ella's eyes flickered slowly open, bright sunlight hitting her face. Ugh, she'd forgotten to shut the curtains when she'd finally made it home. In fact, she looked down, she hadn't even managed to get out of her clothes. Sitting up she tried to suppress the urge to be sick. She and Ashley had really made a mistake with that fourth bottle of wine. Blinking into the light, eyes barely open, she put her left hand over to her bedside table to grab her phone. What time was it? Please let her not be late for work.

Her hand continued to search her bedside table but to no avail. Shit. She must have left her mobile at Ashley's last night. Hardly surprising considering how much they'd both drunk. She'd have to call Ashley later and see when a good time to pick it up was. Hopefully she wouldn't send it to school with Hanna. She didn't think she could face the humiliation of one of her students, who also happened to be one of her daughter's best friend's, knowing what a state she'd gotten into the night before.

Double checking she ran her hand along the bedside table again, praying that she was mistaken and she'd just missed it on her first search. No. Of course she would never be that lucky. But then again it would help if she could actually open her eyes properly. She stumbled towards the curtains, tugging them shut, and then went back to her bed. Already thinking about the coffee she was going to make herself on this inspection she noticed something she hadn't before. A letter sitting on her bedside table.

Ella looked at it in confusion. Then she recognised the handwriting. She nearly tore the piece of paper up there and then but her eyes fell on the name the letter was addressed to. Her jaw dropped. She began to read it.

As she reached the end her legs gave way below her and she collapsed onto the floor.

"Ella?"

Ashley's voice suddenly rang out through her apartment. "Ella are you okay? I did knock but no one answered. Was the front door supposed to be open or did you forget to shut it last night? God I feel rough. You left your phone behind, I wanted to drop it in before work."

Footsteps came towards her and Ella looked up from her position on the floor just as Ashley walked into her bedroom.

Ashley looked at Ella's pale tear stained face and she felt her heart drop. "Are you okay?" The redhead moved carefully across the carpet and as close to the brunette as she felt appropriate. She realised that there was a piece of paper clutched in Ella's hand, and although the last thing she wanted to do was pry, her instincts told her she needed to see whatever was written on it.

She held her hand out. "May I?"

Ella shook her head fiercely.

"But it is whatever's on that piece of paper that's upset you isn't it?"

A small shrug.

"Ella if you don't want me to read it that's totally okay, but can you at least give me some indication as to what's written? You're upset, and I can't help you if I don't understand."

Ella could hear the concern in her friends voice. The last thing she wanted to do was to hand over the letter to her. Like she hadn't been humiliated enough. But whoever had sent her this copy of it probably had others, so it wasn't like Ashley wouldn't end up seeing it eventually, whether she wanted her to or not. She held the damp letter out for Ashley to take. "Here." Her voice was broken. Half from crying, half from the hangover. Ashley delicately took the piece of paper and began to read. Some words were now pretty smudged from Ella's tears, but she could still easily read what was written.

_Dear A, _

_I did what you asked of me._

_Before we talk about the new task, can you please do me a favour. Next time you need someone to screw around with a chubby, unattractive mother of two, either find some other mug or do it yourself. Because I'm not doing it again. Three weeks in I told you I was done. _

_Oh and just for the record, I don't appreciate being blackmailed. _

_You want a debrief? Here's your fucking debrief. I have never had to do something so disgusting in my life. I spent hours in the shower after I first had to screw her. I brushed my teeth over and over again to try and get rid of her taste. That and the taste of bile from all the puking I did once she'd left. But there's no scrubbing brush for your mind. Every time I shut my eyes I still see every scar, every wrinkle, every stretch mark. No wonder her husband went off with someone else. Someone that actually knows what she's doing in bed and without gross saggy old lady tits probably. _

_Is that enough of a debrief for you? Or do you want me to point out the fact that $250,000 and an all expenses paid trip wasn't worth having to wake up next to that every morning. And there's no money in the world that would make up for having to touch her. All of which I fucking told you months ago. Even offered you the money back to pay some other silly bugger. Guess no one else wanted her either. _

_I deserve extra compensation just for having to listen to all the fucking whining. "Do you really love me Zach?" "How can you find someone like me attractive?" And then there was the hours of my life that were wasted having to listen to her tell me all of her deepest darkest secrets. _

_Which by the way if you want to use you're going to have to pay me for. I didn't go through all of that shit not to get more than a couple of hundred lousy grand for it. I want at least $50,000 for every secret I pass on and be grateful I'm not asking for more. _

_I guess I should thank you for eventually getting the fat bitch out of my life though. Nice idea, using the redhead's daughter. Shame you wouldn't let me do her instead. Hell, I'd pay you for that pleasure. _

_I know what you want me to do next but I'm going to need serious money and a proper job description. No mucking about this time. I want the full story, not half of it. I'm not making the mistake or trusting you twice. And if you think you can blackmail me into sticking to a job like that again you are very wrong. Next time when I say three weeks in I want it to stop. It stops. _

_That's the deal. More money and a get out of jail free card. _

_If you're still interested in my services let me know._

_Zack_

By the time she reached the end of the letter Ashley couldn't understand how Ella hadn't been sick. Quite frankly she wanted to be. Sitting down on the floor next to her, she gently pulled her into a hug.

Ella's crying became louder, Ashley held on tighter. Both women unsure what else to do as they let the words from the letter sink in.

AE - AE - AE

It was over twenty minutes later that Ella's stomach finally gave out and she threw up. All over herself, all over the floor, and all over Ashley. Trying to fight her own gag reflex that wasn't strong at the best of times let alone after all of the wine they'd drunk the night before, Ashley turned to her friend. "It's better out than in, but we need to get you cleaned up sweetheart." Her voice was gentle, barely above a whisper.

Silence.

For a moment she didn't think that Ella had even heard her speak.

Then Ella looked down at herself and then back up at Ashley who had mysteriously managed to end up covered in just as much, if not more of Ella's stomach contents than Ella had herself. "I'm so sorry."

Ashley, one arm still around Ella's shoulders, shook her head. "Don't even worry about it. After reading that letter I'm surprised I didn't…" Ella had started to cry heavily again and Ashley held her a little tighter. "Shhhh it's okay. Look we'll deal with the letter in a minute, but I can tell you from experience you're not going to feel any better about anything while you're sitting in a pile of your own sick."

"I don't think I can stand."

Ella's voice was so weak Ashley could hardly hear her. The brunette spoke without even looking at her. Ashley wasn't sure whether it was the effort of moving her head to the side that was stopping her, or the sheer humiliation of the situation.

"I'll help you. Just put your arm around my waist. That's it. Like that." They'd only made it two steps when Ella's legs nearly went from under her again. Ashley wished she'd started working out at the gym when she said she would rather than just eating more salad. "Come on sweetheart, I need you to be strong for me. Just for a minute. Just until we get you to the bathroom. That's it, one foot in front of the other. There we go." How they managed to get there Ashley wasn't sure, but they did. After starting a hot bubbly bath running (she hoped the bottle of blue liquid she took off the side was bubble bath) she turned back to Ella.

"Are you going to be okay to get yourself in from here?"

Ella nodded firmly but Ashley wasn't convinced. There was no way she was going to argue with her though. She was about to turn to leave when Ella's right hand moved as she went to try and tuck some loose hair behind her ears. Her arm got halfway up and then fell back onto her lap.

"Ella, you're in shock. You're in shock, and you're exhausted. You've hardly had any sleep and you've been sitting crying for over an hour. So much so that you've been sick. You have no strength left. Please let me help you."

Ella didn't acknowledge she'd even spoken. Apprehensively Ashley stepped forward. No movement. She took that as a yes. Slowly she knelt down in front of her. Ella's eyes were hollow and she didn't seem aware of anything happening around her, but the moment Ashley reached for her shirt panic filled her previously lifeless eyes and she pulled herself back. They both looked at each other for a moment and the words from the letter flashed before both of their eyes. Ashley gave a soft sigh and balanced herself on the edge of the bath.

Tears were still falling down Ella's face. She could hardly feel her arms, let alone use numb fingers to unbutton her shirt. But that didn't mean that she could let Ashley do it. A warm hand touched hers. "I get it El, I really do."

"No. You don't."

Ashley didn't know what to say to that so remained silent for a while. Eventually after nearly ten minutes in which neither of them had spoken she tried again. "Ella I really need you to let me help you. You need to get back into your bed but we have to get the sick off you first. Come on. Let me undress you and help you into the bath and then you can wash while I go and find you some pyjamas. I'm going to need to find me some clean clothes too" she added, smiling softly and signalling down at her own sticky clothes.

"They won't fit you. They'll be too big."

Ashley's heart broke a little and she squeezed the hand she still hadn't let go of. "Ella, I… I wish I could magically make that letter go away, or at least make you not believe a word of the spiteful lies that evil man wrote. But I can't. I get that. And I also know that all you want to do right now is curl up in a hole and never let anyone see you again. The last thing you want is to have to let me undress you at a time you feel most vulnerable and self conscious about the way you look. But I'm not going to judge you, and you shouldn't be ashamed of your body. When I look at you all I see is a Mom, just like me. We all have scars, and more stretch marks and wrinkles than we want to admit. And that's totally okay. We wouldn't have our beautiful children without them, and those precious babies of ours are worth every mark we have."

Ella still wouldn't look at her.

"I'm not going to do anything you don't feel comfortable with. If it takes us sitting in here all day until you feel ready then…" an idea struck her. "Actually if we're going to sit here all day I'm not going to do it in these clothes because if they stay on any longer they're going to become permanently attached to me." She stood up and started to lift her top up from the bottom. "You don't mind do you?"

Ella finally looked up and gave a weak smile. "No, but I know what you're doing."

Ashley smiled gently back and then pulled her top over her head before wriggling out of her jeans. She stood, in her underwear, hoping she didn't look as uncomfortable as she felt. "Washing machine?"

"Kitchen. Right hand side."

"Are you going to let me take your clothes so they can be washed at the same time?"

Ella shook her head and looked away from her again.

"That's fine, we can do two separate washes. I'll be back in a moment."

Ashley padded across the floor in bare feet trying to ignore her own feelings of self consciousness. Clothes thrown into the washing machine and washing machine turned on, she headed back to the bathroom.

* * *

**_Poor Ella, her entire relationship was a hoax. I actually found the letter really difficult to write because I wanted it to be truly haunting, and that meant specific to her but also probably relating to insecurities that a lot of us have. I wanted it to be cruel but I also wanted it to be believable. In some of the earlier versions there was no purpose to it other than to just be foul about our little Ellakins so I changed it to make it more believable. (I hope... at least in line with some of the other stuff that happens on PLL's anyway!) _**

**_New episode tomorrow! Or not in the UK because it doesn't appear on Netflix until the early hours of Wednesday so I have to wait until I get back from University. Meaning no internet until after I've seen it to avoid being spoilt. The struggles._**

**_Kisses -C_**


	3. Chapter 3

_**Okay can we talk for just a minute about last night's episode of PLL's? Did anyone else's heart break for Ashley like 300 times in that episode, or was it just me? **_

**_In other news thank you so much for all of the support I'm receiving. I wasn't sure about posting because I didn't really expect anyone to read it, but I'm so pleased I did. _**

**_Here's chapter three. Not a huge amount happens in this one, it's just some more Ella/Ashley cuteness, although it does start the ball rolling on subplot number one. _**

**_Please keep leaving feedback so I know whether you're still enjoying / if there's anything you don't like / if I've made any mistakes. I am editing but I'm still human and things can slip through. _**

**_Anyway, hope you all enjoy. _**

**_Kisses -C_**

* * *

Chapter Three

Ashley made her way back to the bathroom, the full weight of what she had to do baring down on her. It difficult enough to know what to say to her last night. But this… how on earth was she ever going to make Ella feel better about the content of that letter? Where was she even supposed to begin?

She reached the bathroom door and found Ella exactly where she'd left her. The brunette slowly looked up.

"How did you get them?"

Ashley tilted her head to the side; confused by the question but a little relieved that Ella was saying anything at all; even if her voice was still barely more than a croak.

"The scars. They look recent."

Ashley didn't particularly want to talk about this, but she wasn't surprised that Ella had asked. She knew that the younger woman would normally have pretended not to see them, but in still in shock her usual filters weren't working. But it was more than that. She needed to know. She needed to know that she wasn't alone. That bad things had happened to other people too.

But that didn't mean that Ashley was willing or even able to answer her question.

Sensing that she may have stepped over an invisible line Ella looked away and felt guilty as she mumbled "sorry, you don't have to tell me. I shouldn't have asked."

Ashley shook her head back. "No, it's okay."

"No it's not. It was totally inappropriate."

"Maybe. But asked out of concern. Just like when I asked you to see the letter."

Ella looked at her in understanding. Then she thought about the letter. Her eyes became empty again.

Finding courage she didn't even know she possessed, Ashleigh stood up and pointed to each scar in turn. At this point anything to distract Ella was worth a shot. "This one is from having my gall bladder removed. It was a while ago which is why it's so faded. This one's pretty faded too. It's from a skiing accident. No actual operation just a few stitches because the cut was quite deep. And this one" she pointed to a scar that started just above her left breast and obviously continued down below her bra "is from detective Wilden. As are the ones you can see on the top of my thighs. The one on my knee I don't know how I got." She turned around. "And this is from him too. I'm surprised you didn't spot it when I left the bathroom earlier but I guess you weren't looking."

Ella gasped in shock. The scars on Ashley's chest and thigh's were bad, but the one on her back… "I'm so sorry Ashley."

Ashley turned back around to face Ella, tears in her eyes. "I know you feel like no one can understand what you're going through, but believe me, I get it. I know what it's like to hurt so much you feel as though you're never going to be okay again. Ted has always told me that he doesn't mind but… I know he does. I know that when we're… intimate, he's doing his upmost not to look at them. They disgust him. He's just too much of a gentleman to admit it. I guess that's why I did what I did with Jason. I needed to feel… I don't know. It was stupid. I knew it was stupid when I did it. And I felt even worse afterwards. Because then I was as unattractive on the inside as on the outside." She couldn't continue. Tears were freely flowing down her pale cheeks and she hated someone seeing her this vulnerable so she turned her back.

"Ash"

Silence.

"If it's… if it's still okay, could I take you up on your offer of help?" Part of Ella knew that Ashley pouring her heart out deserved a far better response than that. She should tell Ashley that she was beautiful and that her scars didn't matter. That what she did with Jason didn't matter. (Although Jason? How on earth had that ever happened? She'd have to ask later. Now wasn't the time to comment on Ashley's little slip.) But knowing the other woman like she did Ella understood that wasn't what she wanted, because right now it wouldn't help. She wouldn't believe it. So the only thing that Ella could do for her was to distract her from her own thoughts, just like Ashley had done for her.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. You're right, I can't do this on my own."

Ashley began at Ella's shirt, slowly unbuttoning it before sliding it off her shoulders. She took the younger woman's weight as she helped her struggle from her trousers. The whole time she maintained eye contact, wanting Ella to know that she was the focus, not her body. Everything was going well until she slid her hands behind Ella's back to unhook her bra's clasp and the brunette flinched. Ashley knew that was a step too far. "It's okay sweetheart, keep that on for the moment. Let's just get you into the water now. That's it. Right I'm going to get you some pyjamas okay? I'll be back in a moment."

Ashley quickly headed into the bedroom and called out. "Okay you have like three chest of draws in here. Give me a clue, which one am I supposed to be looking in?"

"The one on the right." Ella's voice was still hoarse but at least she'd managed to speak loud enough for Ashley to hear her. Picking out an oversized t-shirt and pyjama shorts combination, Ashley returned to the bathroom. "I'm going to leave these on the side and go and deal with your carpet. You okay here for moment?"

"Yep."

Ashley chuckled slightly when she realised that Ella had sunk underneath the huge amount of bubbles that were currently taking over Ella's bathtub.

"Sorry, I think I got a bit carried away with the bubble bath."

"It's okay, it has it's advantages." Ella signalled towards the floor where her underwear was now laying. Ashley smiled. There were so many bubbles Ella knew she was protected from view by them.

"My clothes will be done soon, I'm going to go and throw all yours into the sink to start soaking them, then they can go in next." She looked at Ella's hair and chuckled. "You might want to wash your hair as well as your body. You want a hand?"

Ella hesitated and Ashley realised straight away what the problem was. "It's fine I can come behind you and kneel down. That way all I'll see is your back." After getting a reluctant nod of consent, she found some shampoo in the same place the bubbles had been and speaking softly said "lean back for me and get your hair wet. I won't look, I promise." And with that she shut her eyes and heard the water move.

"I'm done, you can open your eyes."

Ashley opened her eyes and concentrated on massaging the shampoo into Ella's scalp. Then she ran her fingers slowly through the rest of her long brown hair, removing anything she found and scrubbing it with shampoo until she was happy that it was completely clean. "Right, you just need to rinse it off now. I'm going to keep hold of your head but shut my eyes okay? I need you to lean back so your head's in the water and then I can run my hands through it a few times. That's it. Perfect."

Ashley smiled. She couldn't help that be pleased that despite everything Ella didn't even hesitate to trust her. Keeping her eyes firmly shut she knew Ella wouldn't hear her with her head half under water and so gently pulled her head back out of the water. "There we go. Get yourself repositioned then I'll open my eyes and let you finish your bath."

"Um, Ashley."

"Yes."

"The bubbles are pretty much gone now."

Ashley gave a soft laugh. "Okay you're just going to have to sink as low as you can into the water and trust that I'll keep my eyes up while I leave."

"I trust you."

Ashley didn't know what to say to that so, feeling a little chocked up, kept her eyes firmly away from her friend and left the bathroom, pulling the door shut behind her.

As the door was shut Ella moved up in the water slightly and sighed. There was so much going through her head right now that it felt as though it was going to explode. The content of the letter ran through her mind constantly. Over and over again. Each word memorised. But then Ashley's story about her scars flooded into her already overcrowded head. The one on her back… it was dark red and at least 8 inches long.

Then her mind thought more about Ashley. How had Ella let herself be seen in this mess? She should have turned her away. Instead she let her in. Let her see the letter. Cried on her shoulder and… oh god she was sick on her.

Humiliation already burning through her, she then remembered Ashley washing her hair. Why on earth had she let someone wash her hair? Actually that question she could answer. While her mind was racing, the rest of her was almost frozen. She could barely even lift her arms up. How she'd slipped out of her underwear she'd never know. Even the effort of keeping herself propped up in the bath now was taking all of the energy she had left.

Finally her mind made it to what had happened just before Ashley walked into the bedroom. The last words she'd spoken to her. 'I trust you.' She remembered again the feeling of just leaning back and having the redhead run delicate fingers through her long hair. She had trusted her. She completely believed that if Ashley said her eyes were shut, they were shut.

That feeling frightened her now though. She had exposed herself, both physically and emotionally, to someone else that she barely knew. She did trust Ashley. But then she'd also trusted Zack…

Suddenly she was struggling to get out. She had to get out. Get dressed. Convince Ashley she was okay and make her leave. Hope she never mentioned this again. Hope her weakness could just be forgotten. Never let Ashley, or anyone, see her that vulnerable again.

She fought her body, trying to make it co-operate with what she wanted from it. Her stupid, ugly, awful body, that still wasn't strong enough for her to even lift herself out of the bath. It would though. It had to.

Hearing the sound of splashing and crashing Ashley raced back to the bathroom door. "Ella, are you okay?"

"I need to get out of this bath."

"Do you want a hand?"

"No, I need to do this myself."

More splashing.

"You're stuck aren't you."

"Yes" Ella could feel warm tears burning down her cheeks again. She was pathetic. No wonder Zack… no she couldn't think about him. It hurt. It just hurt too much.

Ashley didn't have to be in the room to know the younger woman was crying again. "It's okay, Ella it's okay sweetheart." She felt helpless from out here. "Right, let's take this one step at a time. Can you run the bath out?"

"Yes." A couple of minutes later Ella spoke again. "Done."

"You can reach the towel from there right?"

"Just about."

"Stay in the bath but try and get the towel round you."

"Okay done."

"You're covered?"

"Yeah, I'm covered."

Ashley walked into the bathroom stepping through the puddles of water that Ella had managed to displace. Finding the woman herself in the bath, a towel wrapped around her and tears streaming down her face. "You dry?"

"Enough."

Ashley grabbed the t-shirt and helped Ella ease it over her head, careful not to move the towel until she was covered. "There we go. The bottom half is going to be a little trickier. If I help you get out of the bath I'm going to support your weight and then shut my eyes so you can get the shorts on. That work for you?"

"Think so."

A couple of minutes later Ella confirmed she was dressed and Ashley opened her eyes. Ella's entire face was now puffy from crying for so long. "Oh sweetheart."

She held her for a moment, carefully because she hadn't yet had her shower. She was also a little uncomfortable to still be standing in nothing but her underwear. so after a few minutes she started guiding Ella back to her bedroom. Once she'd helped her onto the bed, Ashley spoke again.

"You just lay there and rest for me. I'm going to go jump in the shower. I won't be long, promise." She grabbed another set of pyjamas from the chest of draws and headed for the bathroom.

Ella just lay there, the note still running through her head. Her panic about Ashley had subsided a little, but everything else was still there.

Looking down at her chest she really started to cry again. The words from the letter still wouldn't stop racing through her mind, and just by looking down she got harshly reminded of just how true they were.

She pulled the duvet over herself and buried her head under her pillow, wanting nothing more than to just disappear and never have to come back out.

Less than five minutes later Ashley walked out of the bathroom having kept her promise to be quick. She was drying her hair now, dressed in a pair of pyjamas that as Ella predicted were too big for her tiny frame. She saw that the younger woman had buried herself under the covers and sighed. "Oh honey, what are we going to do with you?"


	4. Chapter 4

_**Okay guys a big big thank you for all of the incredible support. Every comment, every message via PM, it means a lot. **_

**_Which is why you're getting such a quick update this time around! As specially requested, here's chapter 4!_**

**_Kisses -C_**

* * *

_Chapter Four_

Ashley had immediately removed the pillow from Ella's face to find it tear stained and bright red. "I know it feels pretty impossible right now, but you have to stop torturing yourself with what was written in that letter."

Ella nodded. "I know… I know I should be at least trying to stop thinking about what he said but… he's right. Look at me Ashley, why would anyone want me, let alone someone like Zack? He was so young, and attractive, and so perfect. And I'm just old and…" she couldn't even get the words out.

"Perfect? The only thing Zack was Ella, is a perfect bastard."

"Well, he certainly had me fooled."

Ashley sighed. She didn't know what to say. There was no getting round it. Mona was dead, so whoever had taken her place had obviously set this whole thing up. They must have taken over when she was still in Radley though, because Mona had died before the letter must have been written, but after Zack and Ella had met. "He had us all fooled honey, not just you."

"No one else let him into their lives though. Into their hearts. Into their bed." She put an emphasis on the last word, making Ashley flinch at her change of tone. Hurt had now turned to anger. She was starting to shout. "I told him everything Ashley. Stuff that even Byron doesn't know. He made me do things with him. Things that Byron had begged me to do for years but I never would. Never let him because I was terrified of being that… that vulnerable. Even with Byron. The man that I spent most of my life with. Had children with. Married. All those years and there were some barriers that my husband never got through but I let down for a perfect stranger. A man that was being paid to be there. Paid to listen to me pour my heart out. Paid to hold my hand. Kiss me. Sleep next to me in my bed. Paid to…" she couldn't. She couldn't say it out loud.

"Paid to have sex with you."

Ella let out another cry, this one so clearly laced with anguish that Ashley's heart broke for her all over again. She hadn't been sure whether to say it, but she knew that sidestepping around it wasn't going to do her any good either. The truth hurt, but she'd waited long enough for it so she definitely deserved it fully now.

When the younger woman began to talk again, she was no longer shouting. The words came out in a broken whisper. "And do you know what the worse thing is Ashley? He was being paid $250,000 to touch me and he still found it so repulsive that he tried to back out. Three weeks into the relationship he tried ending their little game. That would have been hours after we first had sex. Apparently he did manage to get out of the shower and stop feeling sick for just long enough to call his buddy and say that actually, I was so fucking disgusting that even a quarter of a million pounds wasn't worth having to screw me."

Ashley was starting to feel sick herself. Now she REALLY didn't know what to say. The thought of finding out that someone was paid to be intimate with you was awful. But to find out that they would have happily forfeited the money after just one time… how the hell did you make someone feel better about that? She opened her mouth and just hoped whatever words came out would in some way make her friend hurt just a little bit less.

"I would. For a quarter of a million dollars. Have sex with you that is. For a quarter of a million dollars. Less even. A lot less. Like half that. Even nothing. I'd do it for nothing. Not that I'm attracted to you. I mean you are attractive but I'm not really… into that."

Ella stared at her in shocked bemusement.

"Oh god did I just say all that?"

"Um, I think you just did yeah."

"Oh wow… I am even worse at this than I thought."

Ella smiled. "Well you've made me smile so maybe not."

"Really? I've made you smile?"

Ella laughed. "You might be able to see for yourself if you actually look at me."

Ashley's eyes flickered back up. Ella's face was still red and damp, but sure enough she did now have a small, uncertain smile on it. Ashley smiled back, remembered why Ella had calmed down a little, and then blushing looked away again.

"Hey" Ella squeezed her hand. "I'm the one that has just been completely humiliated, you don't get to be the one to blush. You have nothing to be embarrassed about."

Ashley found her voice again. "Neither do you."

Ella stayed silent for a while. "What did you do with the letter?"

"It's on the side over there. I don't want you to torture yourself with it, but I also know it's not my letter or my place to get rid."

"I… I need to keep it. I need to have something tangible to look at. Even though I feel like he wrote the whole thing on the inside of my eyelids. I can't think of any other explanation for why I can see it every time I close my eyes."

Ashley wasn't sure what to say, and after last time she decided it was best if she just remained silent rather than making herself look utterly ridiculous again.

"Thank you for cleaning up after me. You didn't have to do that."

Ashley looked at the wet but vomit free carpet. "I know I didn't have to. I wanted to."

"I'm sorry."

"You don't have anything to be sorry for."

"I was sick on you."

"It doesn't matter." Ashley pulled the brunette into a hug and felt a slight shaking. Ella was crying again. She moved her free arm and gently brushed the tear away from her cheek with her thumb. "Honestly honey don't be worrying about me. Consider it a bonding experience. Nothing like some shared bodily fluid to really solidify a friendship. Anyway we're both clean, and the carpet's now clean, so no harm done."

"I don't feel clean."

"I know."

"Do you think this A, whoever they are, do you think they'll pay."

Ashley tilted her head to the side to look at her. "I don't know. Did you tell him anything worth paying $50,000 for?"

"I don't know Ash, I just told him everything. I told him too much."

"Look, I can't guarantee that what you said will remain between the two of you. It should. But we both know it doesn't work like that. But, if you want me to be totally honest, I doubt 'A' is going to want to pay $50,000. Because unless you've killed a man, there's nothing you could have said that was worth that much to a total stranger. Please don't take that the wrong way. I know whatever you told him was a big deal for you, I just can't see it being a big enough deal to someone else that they'd pay so much money for it."

Ella nodded, not sure whether she felt better or not. A little less panicked maybe, but not better exactly.

"Are we nodding because you did confess to murder or because you agree with me?"

Ella couldn't help but let out a chuckle. "No, no murder committed yet."

"And let's keep it that way. Because quite frankly honey, this guy just isn't worth the jail time."

Ella shrugged and then leant her head against Ashley's shoulder.

"God how did my life become such a mess?"

"I ask myself that about my own life about twenty times a day. I still don't have an answer."

Ella sighed, shut her eyes, and then whispered so quietly that had she not been leaning against Ashley, the older woman wouldn't have even heard. "You don't think he'll talk to them about what I said, but how about what I did?"

"What do you mean El?"

"I don't know. It just seemed like me confiding in him was an extra. An added bonus he could demand an additional payment for. But he'd already been told to date me and kiss me and… so was that all included in the original price? Was everything we did together, was that all reported back? Is there someone out there somewhere with a list of every time he kissed me. Every time he touched me. Every little thing we, thing we did together as a couple." As she spoke she'd become louder and louder again, but then stumbled over her last few words.

Ashley looked at her blankly for a second, then with a lack of tact that explained a lot about Hanna asked "like sex stuff? You wanna know whether he reported stuff you did together in the bedroom?"

"Mhmmm" Ella fidgeted a bit, her face bright red.

Ashley realised how much worse she'd made things for an already ridiculously embarrassed Ella, and feeling guilty added "sorry. I just wanted to check I was interpreting things properly. I know this is hard for you to talk about. I didn't want to make you feel any more uncomfortable than you already do."

"It's okay."

"No; no it's not okay. And you're not okay. And I don't want to do anything to make you even less okay. But you do know that when you're ready, if you're ever ready, you can talk to me? Because whatever you tell me really is just between us. And trust me, I'm not going to be judging you. Not with everything I've done."

Ella nodded, took a breath, and then slowly began to talk. "I know I can tell you anything, and that you won't judge me for it. But… I'm just so scared of being that open with someone again. And then I remember how much you already know and I feel so stupid and humiliated… I just wish no one knew. But two people already do. And this 'A', whoever they are, they could tell anyone, at any time, and there is nothing I can do to prevent it from happening. And that terrifies me. So maybe I need to tell you so that… ugh I don't know. But what I do know is that until Zack, I never had that sort of conversation with anyone. And we've only really been friends for like 12 hours. I feel so exposed to you already… I don't know if I'm able, or even willing, to share something so personal and intimate… it's not the sort of information…"

Ashley interrupted. "Okay Ella, take a breathe for one moment. I said if you're ever ready. No expectations. No pressure. Certainly not right now. I just wanted you to know I was here, if you need me." She took hold of Ella's hand and squeezed it, reassuringly she hoped.

"I know. And I know I'm not making an awful lot of sense right now. But what I'm trying to say is that I want to tell you. And I think I need to tell you. But I just… I don't know how. And I don't know why I suddenly feel the need to tell virtual strangers about my love life. And secrets. And God knows what else."

"Because you need to feel that connected to another human being. You said it yourself. Even with Byron you've held back. And I don't know why you did that. I don't think even you do. But you were never going to be able to live like that forever. We all need someone that we can talk to. Someone we can trust. Someone that knows us as well as we know ourselves. Better even. It's just part of being human."

"Yeah well being a human sucks. And that's the whole point Ashley, we all need someone, and I don't have anyone. I thought I did, but I don't. And now I'm on my own. Again. And have no one to tell this stuff to, even if I ever decided I wanted to."

"You have me."

"It's not the same."

"It can be."

"How?"

Ashley hesitated. "It was Jason. Jason was the man I cheated on Ted with. I say man, really I should be saying boy. He's barely more than a child and I slept with him because I am completely screwed up and I was looking for - God knows what I was looking for. Something I wasn't going to find in bed with someone barely older than my daughter. So there. Now you know one of my deepest and darkest secrets."

Ella looked at her apologetically. "Technically I already knew. You slipped up and called him by name earlier. But I'm really glad you told me properly." She'd moved away a little as they'd been speaking, but at this point placed her head back onto Ashley's shoulder. "Okay, let's give this whole sharing thing a go. I'm not ready to talk about, certain aspects of my life yet, but I will try and talk about others."

"Sounds like a plan."

"There's um… there's one more thing I have to tell you."

"Go on?"

"I really, really need a coffee."

Ashley chuckled. "I'm on it. And you don't happen to have some bacon around here somewhere do you?"

* * *

_**Please keep letting me know what you think. It really does motivate me to write as post; as well as helping with knowing whether there's anything I need to change. **_

**_Also how does everyone feel about the length? Usually when I write every chapter comes out at a different length, from 1,000 words to like 5,000. These have all been pretty consistent at around 2,500. Is that okay for you guys?_**

**_Hope everyone's had a good day. Just one day left until the weekend! (At least here it's 8:25pm... don't know whether it's earlier for all of you!)_**


	5. Chapter 5

_**This chapter is a little bit shorter, just because I wanted to end it in a certain place. (I'm mean like that.) **_

**_I know this story probably seems really slow burning at the moment but I promise we'll get some more action soon. I just wanted to really solidify the characters and their relationship / closeness before I moved on with the main plot. (Which is not, believe it or not, how long they can spend in Ella's bedroom.) _**

**_Oh one quick thing, is everyone in agreement about this being a T? I don't think anything so far has warranted it being M, but I know I've touched (briefly) on subjects that some people may find difficult. I think it's so minor at the present moment that M would be too high a rating, but if anyone disagrees let me know and let me know your reasoning. _**

**_Anyway on with chapter 5! This hasn't been AS carefully edited as other chapters because before I was writing one day, editing the next. But because I'm posting so frequently I'm having to do it at a bit of a quicker pace. I think it's still alright but if there are any mistakes please do let me know. _**

**_Kisses -C_**

* * *

Chapter 5

When Ashley returned twenty five minutes later with a tray containing two cups of coffee, a plate of bacon, scrambled eggs and toast; Ella was sitting, still on the bed, with the letter in her hand.

"Hey, put that down. I don't play the role of domestic goddess like, ever. I at least expect you to pretend to be impressed with your burnt toast and bacon, cold coffee and unscrambled eggs before you go back to torturing yourself."

"Mmmm" was the only reply she got. Unsurprising really, Ella hadn't even looked up when she walked into the room. Ashley put the tray down and then went to sit on the bed next to the brunette.

"What you thinking?"

"You never even mentioned what he said about Hanna." She looked up. "Why?"

Ashley sighed. "What he said about my seventeen year old daughter was disgusting. And illegal. But other than being a creep, he didn't really do anything to her. It sucks but when you look like she does, you're always going to attract unwanted attention. Do I like it? No. Is there much I can do about it? Not really. So stuff like this, to Hanna, is water off a duck's back. She feels bad for you. That's all. And I feel the same. Hanna's my little girl, always will be. And I'm always going to want to protect her. But in comparison to what he's done to you, what he did to her doesn't even warrant a mention."

Ella didn't say anything.

"Ella I'm only going to say this once more. What he did to Hanna? Not your fault. What he did to you? Also not your fault. This whole situation is his doing. Him and this 'A' person. All you're guilty of is falling for the wrong guy. And it's not like I haven't had enough experience of that one myself."

The younger woman nodded slowly, still not entirely convinced but knowing better than to argue. Ashley stood back up and brought the tray over to them. "Here. Eat your badly cooked breakfast before it gets any colder than it was when I cooked it. Let's take a few minutes to appreciate my inadequacies rather than yours."

Ella let out a small laugh. "I'm sure it isn't going to be that bad."

"You haven't tasted it yet."

Ella scooped up some egg onto a spoon and put it in her mouth. The moment she tasted it she had to start battling the urge to throw up again. What on earth had Ashley done to it? How can you go that badly wrong with something so simple? "Mmmm, yummy."

"Your voice says yummy, your face is asking whether you can spit it out. Which you can by the way. I won't be offended."

Ella forced herself to swallow. "No it's, it's fine. Just maybe egg isn't a great idea when I've just been sick. Perhaps bacon would be a better option." She grabbed a fork and shoved it into the meat; deciding that as everything else had been so undignified that morning she wasn't going to bother even pretending to cut it up. And also she wasn't that sure a knife would go through it… Taking a bite she couldn't help but giggle at the almighty crunch that happened when she did. "Okay it's official. I have tried to be polite but I think eating this may actually be considered a health hazard. The coffee looks good though, I think a drink will do fine for now."

Ashley smiled, not at all offended, knowing her cooking skills weren't up to much and just appreciating Ella's honesty. "Sounds like a plan." She discarded the tray back onto the side, the remaining food untouched. Instead she picked the mugs up off of it and handed one over to Ella, keeping one for herself. They sat quietly for a while, side by side on Ella's bed, sipping on their coffee that although slightly cold, was at least drinkable.

After a while Ella put her empty mug down on the bedside table and turned to face Ashley. "Can I ask you something?"

She sounded nervous; unsure of herself. Ashley put her own mug down and nodded. "Sure, go ahead."

"Why, when he found me so completely repulsive, did he… did he want to do things with me?"

"Because that's obviously not how he really felt."

"He was willing to forfeit a quarter of a million dollars. Trust me, that's how he really felt."

Ashley looked at her sadly. "I don't know what you want me to say sweetheart. I guess because that was what he was being paid to do…"

"Maybe. But to me the letter sounded like… he was just being paid to, you know, do the basic stuff. He didn't even mention that he'd got anything out of me physically. Just that he'd hated having to sleep with me and he'd got extra information. So why bother with anything else?"

"Because guys like that get off on making you feel as vulnerable as they can. The more exposed you are to them, physically and emotionally, the more they enjoy it." She looked up and said with an honesty that frightened even her. "Wilden didn't find me attractive. He just found the look of fear on my face when he forced be into stuff a turn on. That's how he got off on it. Not because he enjoyed being with me, he just enjoyed torturing me."

"Yeah, I saw that." Ella whispered, moving round so she was next to Ashley rather than opposite her. It meant she could return to her earlier position, leaning against her shoulder. "You do know that it's not just a one way thing Ash. You really can talk to me. When you're ready. If you want to."

"I know."

Ella, not content with just leaning on her, took Ashley's hand and held onto it. "So you think Zack was the same with me? He found the concept of having sex with me gross, but got off on the fact he knew I was uncomfortable?"

"Honestly?"

"Please."

"Probably."

Ella nodded, feeling even more sick than when she'd had the 'scrambled eggs'.

Then her phone rang.

"Ugh that'll be work wondering where I am."

"You never called in?"

"No, weirdly enough it wasn't at the forefront of my mind this morning."

Ashley picked up the phone. "Hi this is Ms Marin. Yes that's right Hanna's Mom. I popped round to give something to Mrs Montgomery this morning and unfortunately found her sick in bed. I've made sure she's had something to drink and I'm going to keep an eye on her, but obviously she won't be in today. Yes that's right. Oh and if you wouldn't mind please can you tell Hanna to go back with one of her friends tonight, I don't mind which one. Hell tell her she can stay at her boyfriend's if she wants. Ella's pretty unwell at the moment so I don't know when I'm going to be able to leave her. No honestly you don't need to pop round, no point everyone taking the risk of catching it. But if you could just get Hanna to text me so I know where she's at. Yes that's fine. I'll be sure to let you know whether she'll be in tomorrow as soon as I know. Hopefully it's just a 24 hour thing. Exactly. Thank you, speak soon." She hung up. "Well that killed two birds with one stone."

"Thank you. Do you think Aria will worry?"

"I'm sure if she does her friends will reassure her. Stomach bugs suck but they're hardly life threatening." She resumed her earlier position and put her arm around the brunette, pulling her back onto her shoulder.

"What you said, I appreciate it, I really do. But you honestly don't have to stay."

"Ella, it's not up for negotiation. Aside from anything else I've told him I'll phone back later so he knows whether or not to get a substitute teacher in tomorrow. But either way if you think I'm leaving you to sit alone and cry over that letter; making yourself sick in the process, you are very very wrong."

"I am now entirely sympathetic with Hanna."

Ashley laughed. "Hey, I'm still not number one in the mean Mommy stakes."

"True, how is Veronica these days?"

Ashley laughed again. "Actually I hear there's been a distinct improvement in her personality since she left her husband, even if not in her mood."

Ella smiled. "Next time I see her I'll remember to tell her to stay single. Her mood will improve over time. The dating prospects in this town… not so much."

"Hey, Ted's a good guy."

"Yeah he is."

"I don't deserve him."

"Yes Ashley, you do."

"Well when he finds out the truth about what I've done, then I don't think he's going to agree with you."

"Then that's his loss."

"No, it's mine. Although I am starting to wonder, as much as I love him, whether I'm really ready for a relationship."

"After your divorce, or after Wilden."

"Oh I'm over the whole marriage break up thing. But the Wilden thing… not so much."

"Because you aren't ready to let down your emotional wall, or because you can't stand how awkward people become when they see your scars?"

"Both."

Ella nudged Ashley forward a bit and then carefully lifted up the back of her t-shirt. She moved her hand forward, hesitating slightly to give Ashley a chance to stop her. When she didn't, Ella began running her fingers delicately along the scar on her back. The redhead flinched slightly, but she didn't stop her. "It's just a red mark Ash, it doesn't change how irritatingly stunning you are."

Ashley shrugged. "You're the only person that thinks so. I wasn't even stunning in the first place, but at least I wasn't hideous."

"And you think you are now?" Ella couldn't believe that someone as beautiful as Ashley would ever think that.

"Yes."

"Well you're not."

Ashley reached out behind her and touched her cheek, turning her head so they were face to face. "Neither are you."

Silence. They both sat frozen, just looking into one another's eyes, noses inches apart.

* * *

**_And no, I'm not even sorry that's where I chose to end it haha. Hope you don't mind that it's a few hundred words shorter though. _**

**_Congratulations to everyone for making it to the weekend! Hope you've all had a good Friday. I've learnt how to make gifs so may be playing about with that / putting some on tumblr. _**

**_Speak soon. _**


	6. Chapter 6

**_I'm going to apologise now for any mistakes I've missed. I've edited this quickly in the past 10 minutes but I'm a little bit tipsy (the drinking age in the UK is 18, I'm nearly 23, totally legal I promise) so I cannot promise any mistakes have been caught. _**

**_I hadn't intended to add another part tonight for obvious reasons, but feeling totally inspired after seeing some lovely reviews I decided to put you all out of your misery. _**

**_Or introduce more... depends how you look at it. ;)_**

**_On the plus side, stuff actually happens in this chapter! _**

**_Hopee you enjoy, comments are, as always, really appreciated. Like I said you got this part because of them so keep them coming and I'll try and keep the updates as regualr as possible! _**

**_Happy Saturday / Valentines Day! _**

**_Kisses -C_**

* * *

Chapter 6

"Thank you" Ella whispered.

They were so close together that Ashley could feel her friend's warm breath on her face as she spoke. For a few seconds longer they remained in that position, before the older woman realised what was happening and turned her head back around.

Neither spoke for over five minutes, both feeling a little awkward about their previous position. It was surprisingly Ella that found her voice first. "Aren't you supposed to be at work at the moment?"

"Funny enough I didn't keep my job after screwing my boss."

"Your choice or his?"

"Mine. It was a mistake. One I didn't want to repeat."

"You think there would have been a repeat had you stayed?"

"No."

Ella didn't say anything.

"So I currently have no job, and nowhere else that I need to be today. But if you really want me to go…"

"No" Ella surprised herself with how quickly she'd answered. "If, if you're still happy to stay…"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

Ella flushed red, but determined that this was the one relationship in her life where she wanted to be completely honest, she answered anyway. "Because the moment we had before… it was a little intense. And I don't want you to feel as though you have to stay if you're uncomfortable."

Ashley wasn't exactly comfortable, and knowing how much courage it had taken Ella to be honest she didn't want to lie to her. "I am uncomfortable. But I still want to stay. Because I know, deep down, that there's nothing to be uncomfortable about. Yes things got a little intense for a moment, but really, are you surprised? Everything this morning has been intense."

"I thought you were going to kiss me." Ella whispered, bitting her lip nervously, not sure whether she was going to like the answer.

"It crossed my mind. Like I said, everything's been pretty intense this past 12 hours."

"I know."

"And when my emotions are running high I do have an unfortunate habit of kissing people I shouldn't."

"And less than two hours after telling them you'd have sex with them for free." Ella teased.

"Oh God" Ashley went bright red. "I'd totally forgotten about that."

Ella giggled. "Sorry, that was mean. Please don't be embarrassed, it's fine. I get it." She took a deep breath. "And just for the record, if you had kissed me, I don't think I would have stopped you."

They both look at each other seriously for a moment before Ashley spoke. "So we're okay?"

"We're fine."

"Still friends?"

"Still friends" Ella agreed.

"Does that mean I'm allowed to tell you that you look like you're about to fall asleep and you won't be offended?"

"As long as you're not going to be offended if I lay down and nap for a little while?"

"Not at all."

"Will you stay with me?" Ella asked shyly. "I can't stop thinking about what Zack wrote but… it's a little easier to put it to the back of my mind when I'm not alone."

"Of course. It was either that or go and make you lunch ready for when you woke up."

"Yeah you're definitely staying."

They both laughed, smiling at one another. Ella lay down where she was and Ashley moved so that she was next to her.

A phone began to ring.

"Is that mine again?" Ella turned her head to the iPhone on the bedside table. It wasn't ringing.

"Must be mine." Ashley raced across the room to her bag and retrieved her own phone. "It's Ted" she half groaned, picking it up. She hated that his voice filled her with so much dread these days when it used to fill her with such happiness. Guilt was a horrible thing. "Hi." She moved back to the bed and sat down next to where Ella was still laying. "No, I'm not at home, I'm at Ella's. She's sick. Can you tell me whatever it is over the phone?" Ashley leant back against the headboard. "No, of course I'm not lying to you. Why would you think that? No, Ella can't hear me. She's asleep." She put a finger to her lips and Ella nodded. "One second, slow down. Ted you're speaking too quickly I can't hear you, the phone line isn't great here. Look where are you, if it's urgent I can come and meet you… No, I told you, I'm with Ella… It's fine, she won't notice if I disappear for a little bit while she's asleep." Ashley's face fell. "No I'm not with Jason. I told you I'm with Ella, why would I be with Jason? I don't work for him or his family anymore." But even as Ashley asked the question she knew the answer. "Ted, please let me explain. It's not how the letter makes it sound…" another pause. "It's not that simple." Ella took hold of her friend's hand. "Yes, I did. But I can explain." She had started to cry. "Please Ted, let me explain…"

The phone cut off. She burst into tears.

"He got a letter from 'A' telling him I'd had sex with Jason. I tried to get him to let me explain but he said it was a simple question, either I did or I didn't. I couldn't lie to him. So he said it was over and he never wants to see me again."

Ella sat up and pulled her into a hug. "Maybe when he calms down…"

"No, trust me. He's never going to calm down. Why didn't I just tell him myself?" She turned to the younger woman next to her. "And why did 'A' decide to send him the letter now? What the hell did this guy do last night, just go around leaving letters that would destroy people's lives anywhere he could?"

Ella let go of her and groaned. "I'm so sorry. It didn't help you were here. He didn't believe you did he?"

"I don't think he cared. He had decided we were over before he even picked up the phone. He said there was nothing more humiliating than discovering your girlfriend had been unfaithful by a letter from someone else. It meant that not only had I done it, but someone else knew about it. Someone else that could go around and tell anyone and everyone what I did to him." She looked down at her phone in horror, like she'd only just realised it was there. "I can't believe he did it over the phone. He couldn't even bare to look at me when he ended our relationship."

Ella was in shock. She was still trying to absorb her own letter from 'A', it seemed unbelievable that the same night he also managed to deliver the letter that seemed to have ended Ashley's relationship with Ted. "If it's any consolation, I still think he ate ice cream weirdly." She pulled a face the moment she said it. She was normally the most tactful person ever; where the hell had that come from?

It had worked though, Ashley let out a snort of laughter. Ella continued. "Sorry that was completely inappropriate."

"You've spent too long with me" the redhead replied with a forced smile.

Ella squeezed her hand. "I know you think it's not going to help, but I still think you should leave it a day or so and then try and call him."

"Thank you, I appreciate your optimism, but it's over. He's not going to change his mind and I have no intention of humiliating myself further by trying."

"But if you love him…"

"Then maybe I shouldn't have done what I did with Jason."

"'A' has a lot to answer for" Ella said angrily. "They had no right to tell him. What the hell has it got to do with them?"

"What this guy did to you was horrific Ella, but what he did to me I can't really blame on anyone else. I'm the one that gave him the ammunition, all he did was shoot the gun."

"This is not your fault."

"That's the worst part Ella, it is." Ashley began to cry again. "I really did love him. I know I screwed up, but…" she gave up trying to speak and just continued to cry.

Once she'd calmed down a little Ella, still holding onto her, asked. "I know it's pretty irrelevant right now, but just out of curiosity, why are you now referring to 'A' as though they're male?"

Ashley shrugged. "I don't know. Ted assumed it was although from what I can gather there was nothing to suggest that in the letter. In all honesty I think 'A's probably female. I don't know many men that would be that vicious. Only women."

"I'm so glad you have so much faith in our gender."

Ashley managed a small smile but didn't say anything. Ella was starting to feel sick again. How many more letter's had their mystery enemy had a chance to deliver the night before? What if copies of the letter she'd got hadn't just gone to her. What if they'd gone to Aria, or someone at work… or even worse what if Byron had received one?

Despite her own situation Ashley immediately recognised the look of panic on Ella's face when she looked up after a few minutes had passed since they'd last spoken. "Ted got a letter. From the lack of angry voicemails on my phone right now I can only assume that Hanna didn't get a matching one. I definitely didn't. There's no reason to think we're not the only two people with letters right now. Unless of course Veronica has one, but I'm sure she has enough of her own secrets that she doesn't need to hear about ours."

Ella wasn't sure whether she felt reassured or not. "I guess so."

"You still want to have that nap?"

Ella shook her head. "No, I'll be fine."

"You're only saying that because you don't want to fall asleep and leave me awake on my own."

"So what if I am?" Ella stuck her tongue out childishly and Ashley laughed softly.

"Come on, let's at least lay down. My relationship isn't going to be any less over if we're vertical."

Ella pulled a face but did as Ashley said. Once they were side by side again she turned her head to face her. "It sucks when it's over doesn't it."

"It really does."

"I'm sorry you had to be here with me when it happened."

"I'm not."

"Break-ups are really personal private things…"

Ashley shook her head. "I wouldn't have wanted to be alone. Getting dumped doesn't get any easier no matter how many times it happens to you. I really don't think I would have stayed as calm as I did had I been on my own."

"That was you calm?" Ella raised an eyebrow.

"I've improved with age. When my first boyfriend dumped me I told his Mom he smoked Weed, made out with his best friend, and wrote to the college he'd applied to and told them he had a criminal record."

"Did he?"

"No, and when they realised that I just looked like a completely nuts ex-girlfriend."

"Did you get into trouble?"

"No but he got accepted by his first choice. Probably out of sympathy so that he could escape me."

"You don't take rejection well then?" Ella said with a smirk.

"Do any of us?"

Ella shook her head. "I don't think so. I never really had the typical high school experience though. I went on dates occasionally but never with the same guy. We'd just hang out at the movies or something and then I'd go home. There was one guy I went on three dates with and he was my first kiss, but other than that until Byron that was as serious as any relationship got."

"Three dates and a kiss?"

"Yeah. And not even a make out kind of kiss. Like a quick peck on the lips."

Ashley giggled. "Always the good girl."

"Unfortunately."

Ashley opened her mouth to ask a question but then shut it. No, it wasn't appropriate. Especially not in light of everything that had happened to her since she'd woken up this morning. There were some parts of her life that just didn't need any more poking into.

"What you thinking?" Ella asked.

"Nothing."

"No, go on."

"I was just wondering… Byron was your first?"

"Mhmmm" Ella blushed lightly but smiled.

"And then… Zack?"

"Yeah."

"Wow, that must have been hard."

"Yeah, thanks for the reminder" Ella teased again trying to keep it light and not succumb to the feeling of pain and inadequacy that was bubbling up below the surface.

"Sorry. I just… I've slept with more people in the past couple of months than you have in your entire life. I've hit double that in just the past two years. What the hell does that say about me?"

"I've had sex with two men. One was my husband who's needs I clearly wasn't fulfilling or he wouldn't have cheated on me. The second was paid to have sex with me, and even then found it such a traumatic experience he offered a $250,000 refund to never have to do it again. Believe me your track record is looking a lot better than mine."

"The guys before my husband cheated, my husband actually left me for another woman, Wilden blackmailed me into having sex with him and then assaulted me, Ted was great if you pretended he wasn't shutting his eyes so as not to see my scars. Oh, and then I slept with someone half my age who hasn't exactly been banging down my door for a repeat."

"Okay fine; both of our lives are tragic."

Ashley laughed. "Thanks I feel so much better."

Both women chuckled and looked at one another. Ella's eyes were starting to close. "Are you sure you don't mind me resting for a bit."

Ashley's eyes were also half shut. "Nope, I don't think I'm going to be able to fight sleep much longer either."

"Mmmmm see you on the other side" Ella murmured as she drifted off.

"Sleep tight" Ashley replied. It took her a little longer than Ella, but a few minutes later she too drifted into an uneasy sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry this update was so slow. I had a severe bought of writers block. I almost considered scrapping the story and starting over, but eventually decided against it.

I hope people haven't got bored waiting and are still interested in this. A couple of exciting chapters coming up now I'm back into my flow. All inspired by a dream I had on Tuesday night. By chapter 10 there is going to be a HUGE twist on the plot, and between about 12-15 you're going to discover a massive secret that one person's been keeping from everyone - including their own family.

And for the lovely reviewer that questioned the lack of Spencer and Jenna, they are going to play a very important part in the plot soon. This story is primarily about Ella/Ashley but the other two are going to end up muddled in something in a big way thanks to A's messing. Expect an unlikely friendship between the pair, and in fact all four of our main characters. I'd never put characters in the list just to get the story seen by more people. If there names are there then it's because they play a major part in the plot! :)

I hope everyone's had a good week!

Kisses -C

**Ps. The parts in italic are a flashback! **

* * *

Chapter 7

_One Month Later… _

Ashley hesitated, coffee in hand. "Um… hey?"

Ella's head flipped up at the familiar voice, and she felt her cheeks begin to flush. It had been a weeks since she'd last seen the older woman. Weeks since…

_They'd woken up, still laying side by side. It was evening again and there was something about the darkness that frightened Ella. She couldn't explain it. Couldn't put it into words. All she knew was that she didn't want to be alone tonight. _

_She rolled over to face Ashley. "Hey."_

_"__Hey" Ashley smiled shyly back at her. Ella wasn't quite sure why there was an air of awkwardness between them again. "Feel any better now that you've had some sleep?" _

_Ella shrugged, forcing a half smile. "I guess."_

_Ashley looked a little confused. "I'm not convinced. Bad dream?" _

_Ella shook her head. "No, no it's not that. I'm just being stupid. I just feel like… I can't even put it into words." _

_"__You don't need to. I understand." Ashley smiled kindly at her and Ella relaxed a little. She was worried that things were going to be weird between them after how much they'd both shared with the other. While everything had happened it was so constant, so fluid, that neither really had time to think. But once they'd closed their eyes and slept there was much more time to really absorb everything. _

_"__How about you? Did you think about what I said?"_

_"__About Ted? Ella I appreciate your concern, I really do, but… it's over. Pretending there's any hope whatsoever that he'll forgive me, it's totally pointless. And worse than that; it's painful." _

_Ella took hold of her hand again. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to push you." _

_"__It's fine, I get that you're only trying to be a friend. But Ted and I are one hundred percent done. Just like you and Zack." Ella's face fell and Ashley cringed. "Sorry, not like you and Zack at all. I didn't mean to compare. God why do I always say such stupid things? That's the sort of thing I criticise Hanna for." _

_Ella laughed softly. "You're being to hard on yourself Ash. It's fine. Well it's not fine, it hurts. But you saying his name… I'm going to have to get used to it anyway. It feels like years since it ended, but everyone else is still talking about it." _

_"__That doesn't mean I have to bring it up." _

_"__It's fine. If the… if everything comes out then I'm going to have to deal with what's happened anyway. I just wish… see this is why I don't like the evenings. I think too much. I start to remember everything that happened with Byron, and then Zack. And then I remember how completely inadequate I feel. As a mother. As a wife. As a lover." She turned pink again. "Sorry you're probably sick of hearing about that." _

_Ashley shook her head. "Ella after that letter I don't blame you for not being able to get everything that happened between you out of your head. And I'm more than happy to listen. You know that. It's just sex at the end of the day, and by being so embarrassed and awkward about it we're only giving the people that use it as a weapon more power." _

_Ella's jaw dropped. "That may be the smartest thing I've ever heard you say." _

_Ashley laughed. "Why, thank you!" _

_Ella let out a small giggle. "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that." _

_"__Yes, you did. And it's fine. It's true." _

_They were both smiling again, the moment that had happened before forgotten. _

_"__And El, I meant what I said. I will never pry, but don't give Zack any more power over you. No matter what aspect of your life with him you need to talk about, do it. Don't let it fester in your head, becoming something you torture yourself with. If there's something on your mind that you need to share, then I'm here. Even when I'm not." _

_"__Okay, now I'm confused." _

_"__Even if I'm not physically here, that doesn't mean I won't be in minutes if you need me. Hell if you don't want to face me then pick up a phone. I'll go and hide away in my room so we have complete privacy and you can talk to your hearts content. Never feel that it's an inconvenience because it's not." _

_Ella nodded and then very quickly, so fast Ashley had to concentrate hard just to keep up. she said "oneofthefirsttimeswekissedhelaughedandaskedwhyIdidntkissproperly". _

_Ashley stared at her blankly for a second while her brain raced to catch up. "He asked why you didn't kiss properly? Remind me again why you stayed with this guy?"_

_Ella groaned. "Ugh I don't know. He was just teasing me. At least I thought he was. He asked why I kissed him so desperately, but without any passion. Was I really as desperate as my kisses made it seemed? Some stupid pathetic needy old lady just desperate for someone to care about her; to love her." _

_"__I'm guessing he didn't actually say that last part?" Ashley said with a small smile._

_Ella gave a hollow laugh. "No, that was just what he meant. What he actually said after that was made a joke about how desperate for him I was." _

_"__Ah nice. Be a total asshole then deflect with a sex joke."_

_"__Yeah well it worked. But it was similar to something Byron once said to me so I guess it stayed with me. Or maybe that was just because I knew deep down that he meant it." _

_"__Hang on wait, Byron told you that you were a bad kisser? Don't get me wrong the man can be an ass but… that doesn't sound like Byron?" _

_"__He didn't say it quite like that. We were having a fight after we briefly got back together. I said that things were different now and he told me that it was because of me. That I wasn't fully putting my heart and soul into our relationship anymore. That even when I kissed him it felt as though I was throwing myself into it desperately to try and save our relationship, but that I didn't really mean it. I wasn't really in love with him anymore." _

_"__Were you?"_

_Silence. "I don't know. I thought so at the time, and I did really love him. But I don't think I was IN love with him from the moment I found out what he did with that girl." _

_They were laying on their sides facing one another. _

_"__But they aren't the only two guys you've kissed? You've never had any complaints before have you?" _

_"__No, but the last time I kissed someone that wasn't Byron or Zack I was a teenager kissing guys that didn't care what the kiss was like as long as they could brag about it to their friends."_

_Ashleigh sighed. "Oh honey, you really don't have anything to worry about. A kiss is a kiss. There's no wrong or right. If you're with the right person, at the right time, for the right reasons, then it's perfect. But it's not something you can force. Byron and Zack are right. That doesn't mean you're bad at it. Just that you need to start kissing the right people rather than forcing yourself to try and feel something that you don't."_

_"__So you think I'm desperate too? Throwing myself at anyone I can just so I feel like I have someone that cares?" Tears were forming in her eyes for the first time since they'd woken up._

_"__Actually yes I do. I think you're desperate. And so am I. That doesn't make us bad people El, it just makes us people that feel enough about other people they'd like, just once, for it to be returned. Because all we do is care, and love, and take care of other people. And what do we get back? Nothing. I mean come on, why on earth did I ever think that I could marry a man who spent more time in church than in a bar? This is me we're talking about. Except deep down I knew that it wasn't right, but I was so happy that just for once, someone loved me as much as I loved them, that I kept trying to pretend it would work." _

_"__You will find someone Ash."_

_"__A middle aged divorced mother with so much baggage I now need a truck to carry it around with me; and who can hardly expect someone else to look at me when I can't even look in the mirror."_

_"__Could you before Wilden?"_

_"__Yes."_

_"__I couldn't before Zack."_

_Ashley tilted her head. "Why?"_

_"__Have you seen me?"_

_"__Have you seen you? Ella you are stunning, I'm surprised Ted even wasted his time with me after having the option of you." _

_"__Technically I told him I didn't want a second date. The um… ice cream thing. So there wasn't really an option" oh god Ella stop talking, she thought to herself. "But even if there was he would have still picked you. You're kind, you're intelligent, you're generous…"_

_"__Right it's official. Whenever I'm ready to date again you're writing my profile for me." _

_Ella laughed. "Only if you'll write mine?"_

_"__Deal." Ashley suddenly rolled her eyes. "We should just forget this whole thing and start dating each other. It would be perfect." _

_"__Oh totally" Ella added with a giggle. "You miss having someone to share the small things with. I miss having someone to share a bed with. Neither of us have any luck with men. I'm shit in bed and out of it but you'll probably leave me for Jason anyway. Neither of us will take our clothes off in front of each other. Why didn't we think of this earlier?"_

_Ashley started to laugh and that set Ella off even more. Soon they were giggling hysterically until Ashley stopped suddenly. "Actually that might not be a bad idea…" _

_Ella's jaw dropped. "Huh?"_

_Ashley giggled. "I'm serious. I can tell you the little things, you can come and stay over at mine and share my bed so you don't have to sleep alone. It's perfect."_

_Ella laughed. "Oh please let me be there when you explain that one to Hanna. Why's Mrs Montgomery staying with us? Well darling it's so she can sleep with me every night." _

_They both collapsed into a fit of giggles again. _

_"__To be honest at the moment she thinks I share my bed with a bottle of white wine, so sharing it with you would probably be a huge improvement in her eyes."_

_"__Aw you think I'm an improvement on a bottle of wine?" Ella teased. _

_"__I think sharing a bed with you would be. I didn't say anything about which one of you I'd rather sit at my kitchen table with." _

_They both just sat laughing for a bit until Ella yawned. _

_"__You still tired?" _

_"__A bit, I can't do late nights anymore. I certainly can't do emotional turmoil anymore. I'm exhausted." _

_Ashley smiled tenderly at her. "It will get easier I promise. And I promise not to go keeping you up late on a school night again." _

_"__Just at the weekends?" _

_"__Just at the weekends" Ashley agreed with a smile. "So on that note I guess I'd better get home." _

_"__Is Hanna going to be there?"_

_"__No she text me earlier to say she's staying at Calebs." _

_"__So you're going back to an empty house?"_

_"__I'm a big girl, I'll be okay."_

_"__Okay" Ella said, wondering whether there was any way she could ask Ashley to stay the night that wouldn't make her sound completely ridiculous. _

_Ashley kissed her gently on the forehead and then stood up. "I'd better go and find my clothes and…"_

_"__Please don't go"_

_They both froze for a moment as Ella's words sunk in._

_Ashley nodded. "Okay, in that case I'm just going to use your bathroom and grab a glass of water. Want one?"_

_"__Please" Ella replied. _

_And with that Ashley turned and headed out of the room. _

_When Ashley returned neither commented on Ella's request or Ashley's decision. They simply climbed into bed next to each other and lay side by side. _

_AE - AE - AE_

_When Ella woke up it was still the middle of the night. She looked to her side and found Ashley laying wide awake watching her. She was obviously having some trouble sleeping. Ella felt a little but guilty. Was it fair to ask her to stay when she'd also had a really awful day? Maybe she would have slept better in her own bed?_

_She reached out and placed her hand on Ashley's cheek, running her thumb up and down it tenderly. "I'm sorry."_

_Ashley moved her head forward so that it was pressed against Ella's shoulder. Then she looked up. _

_Their faces were inches away from one another. Both were holding their breath. Ella moved the extra couple of inches that were needed for their lips to touch. Ashley could almost feel Ella's heartbeat, as if it were her own. Ella pressed her lips more firmly against Ashley's, and the older woman felt herself begin to respond to the kiss. _

_Within seconds it had become more heated, and Ella had rolled over so that she was straddling the redhead. Ashley's hands were on Ella's cheeks. Ella had her arms below the elbow flat on the bed, holding her up so she wasn't laying directly on top of Ashley. _

_The kiss lasted for over two minutes before exhaustion kicked back in and Ella rolled over onto her back. She fell asleep within minutes. _

_When she woke up the following morning, Ashley was gone. _

"Hey" Ella replied, and then turning on her heels, ran as fast as she could out of the coffee shop and away from Ashley.


	8. Chapter 8

_I didn't get a chance to write anything today because I had a University essay that I needed to get done *cries*, but I had a crazy writing day yesterday and so I'm a couple of chapters ahead. _

_There's not a lot happening in this chapter other than some angst / cuteness / relationship revival following awkward kiss, but that's because chapter nine is pretty intense! You get the introduction (briefly) of Spencer and Jenna to the story as well as a major development in another area. (Although not as big as the one I'm writing for chapter... 12 I think I'm on now! It came to me in a dream last week and I am so excited to put it into motion.)_

_Anyway enough talk of what's to come, I hope you enjoy chapter 8! Let me know if you don't like chapters like this that, although pretty long, not a huge amount happens._

_Kisses -C_

* * *

Chapter Eight

There was a knock on the door of her apartment. Sighing Ella stood up. It was going to be one of her kids. No one else turned up unannounced. She should be pleased to see them, but right now she just wanted to be left alone to bask in her humiliation for a little longer.

For weeks she'd done nothing other than go to work, before returning to her apartment where she spent hours re-reading the letter and remembering her middle of the night kiss with Ashley. Today had been the first time she'd been brave enough to risk going somewhere they could bump into each other. She'd convinced herself that it would be fine. What were the odds of them both wanting coffee at the exact same time? Quite high apparently.

She opened the door.

"Of all the stupid mistakes I've made recently, running out on you at five in the morning has to be the worst."

Ella's jaw dropped at the sight of Ashley standing on her doorstep. It took a moment for her words to even register what she'd said.

"You stayed until five?" It was a stupid thing to pick up on. The first thing Ella should have done was question why Ashley had followed her back home. But Ella knew when they'd kissed it had been closer to two. Why didn't she leave the moment Ella's eyes had shut?

"I knew you didn't want to be alone overnight. I thought the least I could do was wait until it was almost morning. It wasn't. I should have stayed. I don't know why I didn't. I just… I freaked out." She paused. "I know I have no right to ask this but, please can I come in?"

Internally Ella shook her head. Externally she nodded and stepped out of the way. Once Ashley was inside she shut the door behind her. "Would you like a drink?"

Ashley held out a take away coffee. "You left this behind."

"I didn't pay for it."

"I know, it's on me."

"I can't let you do that."

"I ran out on you at five in the morning."

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does. You're my friend. And I did the most cowardly thing I could have done. I ran away. I should have come to see you before now, but I was frightened. So instead I've gone to the coffee shop every day hoping I'd bump into you. But then I heard from Hanna you were in a strange mood and that Aria was worried about you because other than work you never left home. I felt like someone had stabbed me in the gut. I was in there today to get us both a coffee and come round here to find you."

"You really didn't have to do that." Ella wouldn't even look at her. The humiliation that she'd been trying to push to the side over the past few weeks was now burning brightly on her face.

"Yes, I did. Ella that kiss was a two way thing, but when I ran out I left you to deal with it on your own. I've let you hide yourself away for a month feeling like you'd done something horribly wrong."

"I didn't?"

"No, you didn't" Ashley forced Ella to look her in the eyes. "You didn't."

Ella shrugged her shoulders slightly and looked away again.

Ashley hesitated before asking the question she desperately needed to know the answer to. "Why did you kiss me?"

"I don't know" Ella whispered, still looking away.

"Do you want to kiss me now?"

Ella thought for a moment and then turned back to her. "No. To be honest I sort of want to slap you." The brunette couldn't help but smile a little as she said that. Ashley smiled back.

"Hey if it would make you feel better than go for it. It's not like I don't deserve it."

"You don't deserve to be hurt Ashley. Ever."

"Neither do you, but I still hurt you, didn't I?"

Ella shook her head. "I hurt myself. I don't know what I was thinking. One minute we were just laying there and then your head was against my shoulder and I just…"

"Kissed me."

"Yeah"

"And I kissed you back."

"Why?"

Ashley sighed. "I don't know. Maybe it was because of everything that we'd gone through together in the 24 hours leading up to that point, but it was like there was a connection between us. If you hadn't kissed me, then I would have kissed you. Let's be honest it was me that came close to doing it earlier in the day. I guess we were both so emotional that all those feelings needed somewhere to go."

"So they went into kissing each other?"

"It was a pretty intense kiss."

Ella nodded. "Yeah, it was."

They were both still standing in Ella's narrow hallway, leaning against opposite walls, facing each other. Ella sighed. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too" Ashley replied. "Ted called."

Ella's eyebrows raised. "Really?"

"To ask if anyone other than 'A' and Jason knew."

"What did you say?"

"They didn't. It seemed a bit too late to start being honest with him."

"But if there's a chance…"

"Then he told me he just wanted to check before he deleted my number. He'd posted my things back to me and if I found anything could I do the same for him. But not to put a note with them."

"Wow…" Ella pulled a face. "That was pretty brutal."

"I deserved it. How are things with you?"

"Well there haven't been any more notes, and as far as I'm aware no one else has received a copy of the letter so… for now I guess things are going okay."

"Good. I'm pleased."

Ella noticed something in Ashley's face. "You look relieved."

"Of course I'm relieved. You've had a bad enough time right now without…"

"Ash, you promised you'd never lie to me."

"I had wondered if maybe 'A' knew about… what happened with us."

"Have you had a note?"

"No, that's why I wondered if you had."

"Apparently even monsters have to sleep sometimes." Ella sighed. "Do you want to come in properly or…?"

"I'd love to. As long as you're okay with that?"

"Only if you won't take offence if I pour our coffee's down a sink. I feel like this is a glass of wine situation. Coffee doesn't really feel adequate."

Ashley laughed. "When have you ever heard me complain about the offer of wine?"

Ella laughed back and then turned and headed into her kitchen. Ashley followed.

"Truthfully though El, how have you been?"

Grabbing a bottle of wine from the fridge and two glasses Ella replied "well I can now recite the letter backwards. Every time I shut my eyes I have a different nightmare… Oh and I haven't slept in my bed since you left. I've been falling asleep on the sofa after a bottle of wine."

"Maybe I should have insisted we stuck to coffee."

Ella smiled. "Probably, but you know you'd much rather have the wine."

"True. But yellow isn't really a great colour on anyone so only if you promise me you're going to stop drinking a bottle of wine every night? Your liver wouldn't have been able to process that in your College days, let alone now."

Ella poured them both a glass and then admitted "it's the only way I can sleep." She was embarrassed by her confession; but it didn't even occur to her not to tell Ashley the truth. This was one of the elements of their relationship that scared her the most. She knew they'd promised to be honest with each other but that didn't mean she had to share everything with the older woman. But it had become almost a compulsion. Every time she opened her mouth something spilt out that she wish had remained hidden.

Ashley watched Ella sit lost in her own thoughts for a moment. "You know Hanna's away this week?"

Ella was confused by the sudden change in topic but nodded. "A week of special tests for a college scholarship. Boston. She'll get it Ashley, Hanna's a bright girl."

"I know. I hope so. She doesn't deserve to be punished by everything that's gone on. But that wasn't the point I was making. She left this morning and isn't going to be back until a week on Sunday."

"Nine nights? I thought she was away Friday through to Friday?"

"She wanted a couple of extra days to explore so I said she could come back on the Sunday in time for school."

"That was nice of you" Ella said suspiciously. Ashley wasn't the type of parent that would usually allow her 17 year old daughter two extra days in a different state. Especially not one that had a habit of getting herself into trouble if she was left unattended for too long.

"She needs the time away. Everything with Ted and Jason has been really difficult on her. And I know the past few weeks have been difficult on you. I was already planning on coming to speak to you. Then Hanna told me that Aria was worried and I knew I couldn't keep putting it off because I was frightened. Minutes later she gave me the letter about the scholarship week and I thought it would be a good time to do it. That way I wouldn't have to worry about explaining where I'd gone, or why. It also meant that I didn't have to rush home for Hanna."

"Right…"

"It only meant waiting for a few extra days and I thought it would be worth it not to have to worry about anything…"

"Ashley it's fine, I get it. You don't want anyone to know we're spending time together That we're friends." Ella snapped. "I've already explained away what happened a month ago. You don't need to worry about it. I had popped round to yours to discuss how the girls had been doing recently. I left my phone behind. I went home, got sick, and the next day you came to return the phone and found me unwell. You got me some water, put me to bed, and hung around in my living room for a few hours. Then you went home. You did a nice thing but it's no big deal. We're barely even friends."

Ashley's jaw dropped and she put her wine glass down on the table. "I told Hanna that you weren't at all well and I didn't want to leave you. That we spent the entire day together talking while I got you water; and food when you were up to it. I'd had a really nice time, despite you being so sick, and it was exactly what I needed with everything going on. Hopefully we'd do it again soon when we both had time. That it had been a bonding experience and we were much closer as friends than we had been before. Why do you think she told me when Aria was worried?"

Ella didn't speak. She now really did felt sick.

"It's not me that has a problem with people knowing we're friends Ella."

Ashley's voice was hurt and disappointed and Ella could feel tears starting to appear behind her eyes. "But… you kept saying that you wanted to come and see me without Hanna knowing."

"I was hoping that you'd forgive me, and that we could be friends again. And one of the things Aria said to Hanna was that she didn't think you were sleeping. I thought maybe if Hanna was away for a few days and things between us were okay I could come and stay with you. Or you could come to mine." Ashley's voice was so quiet now Ella could barely hear her.

"I thought you didn't want people to know we were friends so that when 'A' shared the letter with everyone people wouldn't associate you with me."

"Then why would I have answered the phone to the school that day while I was here and told them to tell Aria and Hanna I might be staying with you?"

"I don't know." Ella hadn't even thought about that. "When you left like you did I just assumed that you regretted ever coming and wouldn't want people to know. It didn't seem to matter anyway. I never expected to see you again other than in passing or at a teacher student conference."

"Hanna knows I was going to come and see you. I just didn't want her questioning it if I was here for more than a few hours, and I wanted to have the option of staying with you incase that was what you needed. It was the least I could do after everything. But I knew you wouldn't want anyone knowing so I decided I'd wait until Hanna was away."

"Why didn't you just tell me the moment I admitted to the wine?"

"How?" Ashley's voice was raised and tears were now forming in her eyes as quickly as she was fighting them away. "I wanted to. The second you told me how you were getting to sleep I wanted to tell you it was okay, I would stay with you as long as you needed. But I… I didn't know how. I'm not good at this Ella, you know that."

They both sat in silence before Ella spoke. "Aria must think I'm completely crazy if Hanna told her what you said."

"She probably just put it down to you being embarrassed I'd found you ill and had had to look after you."

"I guess." Ella was really crying now. "Ash I am so sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me at the moment I'm just making such a mess out of everything."

The older woman smiled through her own tears. "Hey I'm the queen of screwing stuff up. It's fine, honestly, it doesn't matter."

"How can you say that? How can it not matter? You were doing something so lovely for me and I was so cold and heartless. When did I become such a bitch?"

"You aren't a bitch Ella, you're just frightened. We both are. So much is happening at the moment everything's just confused and complicated. But the offer still stands. If you want it to."

Ella looked down at the bottle of wine in front of her. "I don't want you to feel like you have to stay and babysit me."

"I don't see it as babysitting, I see it as being there for a friend who needs me. And to be honest I don't particularly want to spend nine days at home alone anyway. I… I get really lonely when Hanna's not around and I don't want to end up doing something stupid."

"Like phoning Jason?" Ella said understandingly.

"Yes" Ashley admitted.

"Also you told Hanna you got me food? Really? Does it not have to be edible to count as food?" Ella teased, suddenly remembering what Ashley had said earlier.

Ashley pretended to pout. "Okay new rule. I'll only stay with you as long as you do the cooking. I'm not spending the next nine days having my skills in the kitchen insulted."

"Oh I am more than okay with that" Ella agreed with a grin, wiping the remaining tears from her face. She wasn't crying anymore. She wasn't really sure at what point she'd stopped, but there was an odd calmness between them again now.

Ashley picked her glass of wine back up and then looked at the clock on the wall behind Ella. "Although it's pretty late so I'm going to suggest that I grab us some take out on the way back from mine. I still need to go home quickly and grab some things."

Ella nodded. "Sure. How about to save you time I order the food for delivery while you go back and get what you need. Although other than clothes and make up you won't need much. You just just borrow whatever I have here."

"Thanks. Oh do I need to bring something to sleep in or can I steal your t-shirt and pyjama bottoms again?" Ashley teased.

"You can borrow whatever you like as long as you hurry up and get back so we can eat. I didn't realise how hungry I was until you said about take out."

"I'm going, I'm going." Ashley put her wine glass down and headed for the door. "I'll see you in a bit."

* * *

_One quick question before I leave you for today. At the moment Ashleigh and Ella's relationship is friendship only as planned. But I know a couple of people like the idea of them actually together. If I did go down that path it would be a slow burn thing, but is anyone genuinely interested in the idea of them in a relationship or would you prefer me to keep them as friends?_

_Hope you had a good weekend! x_


	9. Chapter 9

_Hi guys. _

_I know this has been a slow update but to be honest I'm not sure anyone's even reading anymore so I wasn't 100% whether I was going to continue to post. I think at the moment I'm not going to write __anymore I'm just going to post what I have and see how that goes. _

_Anyway here's chapter 9._

* * *

**Chapter Nine**

When Ashley had returned the night before, she'd timed it perfectly, walking through the door at the same time as their food. After eating, as well as drinking one more glass of wine, they got ready for bed. Ella wasn't sure how it was going to work but Ashley was obviously not in the mood to be messing about. They both took it in turns in the bathroom, a quick shower, brushing their teeth, and then getting into the clothes they were sleeping in. (Ashley insisted on borrowing Ella's although neither of them were quite sure why.) Then Ashley told Ella to get into bed, turned off the light, and joined her.

Ella was relieved that she didn't have to awkwardly point out to her that while it was nice to have her in the apartment, she would sleep much better with someone else in the bed. Ashley for her part was relieved that Ella didn't object, and that things weren't anywhere near as uncomfortable as she'd expected. In fact it wasn't uncomfortable at all.

The following morning Ella woke up first, and it was soon very clear why. Stumbling across to the bathroom she promptly threw up in the toilet. This woke up Ashley who followed her and stood in the doorway looking concerned. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know. I just woke up this morning feeling really ill."

Ashley sighed. "Oh honey, you must have got food poisoning."

"Then why aren't you sick?" Ella asked pouting a little. Not that she wanted Ashley ill, but how had it only affected her?

"I don't know actually, we ate all of the same food. Maybe it's just your stomach's reaction to the alcohol finally kicking in. I told you a bottle a night isn't good for you. You're now banned from drinking, at least while I'm here."

"But what if I can't sleep?" Ella asked a little panicked.

"I'm here aren't I?" Ashley said kindly, taking her hand. "Now come on let's get you back to bed then I can go and grab a glass of water and a bowl."

Nodding Ella allowed her friend to lead her back to bed.

A couple of hours later she felt much better, but they both decided it was best if she stayed in for the rest of the day which ended up being spent in bed; watching repeats of CSI, and chatting about the girls. When evening came around again Ashley disappeared into the kitchen and came back with toast (not burnt this time) and some more water.

"Wow, the toast isn't black, very impressive" Ella said with a grin.

"More importantly it's not blue. I kinda figured you weren't going to be on top of the grocery shopping so when I went home yesterday I grabbed anything we had that yours might have gone off."

"Thanks" Ella muttered, a little embarrassed at the state of her life over the past few weeks. If she'd just picked up the phone, none of it would have needed to get this far. Sitting here with Ashley now it felt impossible to even remember what the issue had been in the first place. So what if they'd kissed? It didn't mean anything, and it didn't have to stop them being friends. She leant her head against the older woman's shoulder as she returned to the bed, and then sitting up selected a piece of toast.

When they went to bed a couple of hours later, both felt content, and Ella felt as though she hadn't been sick that morning at all.

Unfortunately on Sunday morning the same problem happened again.

"I'm sure it's just wine withdrawal" Ashley said as she held Ella's long hair out of her face. She was worse this morning, they'd been standing there now for over twenty minutes. Although Ashley was pretending that it wasn't a big deal, she was starting to get a little bit concerned.

But by lunchtime Ella was okay again. They went out to lunch together, then to see a film, and then came back to the apartment so Ella could finish off some marking.

On Monday morning Ella got up with her alarm but insisted that Ashley stayed in bed. Ashley did as she'd been told until she heard the faint sound of Ella being sick in the bathroom again. She knocked on the bathroom. "Sweetie are you okay?"

Ella opened the door with wet hair and a towel wrapped around her. "Not really."

"Do you want me to phone work for you?"

"No it's fine, I have so much on today I really can't miss it."

Ashley knew better than to argue with her; but she was now very very worried.

At lunchtime though she received a text from Ella to say that she didn't feel great, but she hadn't been sick again at least. Groaning Ashley picked up her purse and headed for the door, shutting it behind her.

When Ella got home a couple of hours later Ashley was waiting for her at the kitchen table looking serious.

"Is everything okay?" Ella hung up her coat and walked over.

"I don't know" Ashley admitted. "Can we talk?"

Ella nodded, feeling nauseous again. Had Ashley changed her mind? Did she want to leave? Ella wouldn't have blamed her if she did. It could hardly be much fun waking up to find her being sick every morning. She sat down at the table opposite the older woman. "Go on."

Ashley hesitated looking uncomfortable. "When was your last period?"

Ella's heart missed a beat. "A couple of months ago I guess. It's not unusual, I've always had lots of problems so it's rare for me to be regular. And with all the stress over the past couple of months…" she trailed off as Ashley took something out of her bag and placed it on the table. It was a pregnancy test. Ella shook her head. "No. I'm not… I can't be. Ash trust me that's not what the sickness is."

"You can't know that."

"Yes. Yes I can."

Ashley leant across the table to take hold her hands. "Ella I know you're frightened, but please, humour me. If you're that certain that you're not, then do the test. If nothing else it will put your mind at ease."

"Fine" Ella snatched the test off the table and stormed towards the bathroom. "I already know the result Ashley. I'm not pregnant. But if it will make you happy to see the negative test then I'll do it."

Ashley sat and waited for Ella to come back. When she did she still looked thoroughly pissed off. Hormones? Ashley couldn't help but think it, even if she would never be brave enough to say it out loud at that specific moment.

"Here." Ella threw the test on the table in front of Ashley. "I'm going to put my stuff away. Let me know when you've seen the result."

"Don't you want to…?"

"No. I don't want to wait for an answer I already know."

Ashley let her go. There was no point arguing with her. She didn't blame her for freaking out. She couldn't even begin to imagine how she'd feel if the test came back positive. But Ella seemed so certain that it wouldn't… maybe Ashley was wrong.

She checked her watch. It was time. She leant forward. "Shit."

Ella stuck her head through the door. "Done yet?"

Ashley couldn't even speak. Instead she signalled for Ella to look herself. Sighing impatiently she did, and what she saw took her breath away.

It was positive. The test had come back positive.

"No, Ashley it's wrong. I'm telling you it's wrong."

"You can take it again tomorrow morning if you want to Ella. But trust me I can tell you're pregnant even without looking at the test results."

Ella collapsed into a chair. "No, this isn't happening. This cannot be happening to me."

Ashley stood up and moved round to where she was standing. "Come here." Ella stood back up and Ashley immediately threw her arms around her. "Oh sweetheart I'm so sorry."

AE - AE - AE

The rest of the evening had passed in a total blur, neither really speaking, Ella just taking comfort in Ashley's presence. The older woman had tried to get the brunette to talk, but she didn't want to, and that was perfectly understandable.

The following morning Ella was sick (again) and Ashley stood for nearly an hour holding her hair from her face while she emptied her stomach. Was it a coincidence that it was worse, or was it partly due to the shock?

At lunch time Ashley met Ella at work where, as promised that morning, she took her a second test. The result was the same and Ella threw it in the bin in the staff toilet in disgust.

Ashley stood and held her for as long as she could, before promising they could talk after work and leaving so that Ella could teach her afternoon classes.

Even though they weren't together, for the entire afternoon Ashley's mind was with her friend. She wanted more than anything to be there for her, but finding a positive spin to put on the situation was almost impossible. Ella was pregnant. Over a decade and a half since she'd last been pregnant. And this baby wasn't Byron's. It was Zack's. The man that had only been with her in the first place because of 'A'.

Ashley felt sick even thinking about it. How Ella was getting through her afternoon she'd never know.

AE - AE - AE

"You have got to be kidding me?" Spencer stood outside the girls toilets and groaned. Why were they always shut when she needed to pee? She looked around and after checking that there was no one in sight she headed to the staff toilets that were just across the corridor. Walking in she used the toilet and then washed her hands. It was only when she went to throw away the tissue she'd dried her hands with that she noticed something in the bin. A pregnancy test?

She used the tissue to pick it up. A positive pregnancy test? Which one of their teachers was pregnant? And why would they chose to find out during the middle of the school day?

She put it back where she found it, rewashed her hands, and then headed back to her classroom. She'd almost completely forgotten what she'd seen when just before the end of that period her phone went off.

_Oh dear, your soon to be sister in law seems to have run into a baby sized problem. Time to talk to her, before I start talking to Toby about where you went last night. Kisses -A_

Spencer banged her head against her desk. She really didn't know how much more of A's games she could take.


	10. Chapter 10

**_I know it's been a while, but in case some of you are still interested here's chapter 10! _**

**_Hope you enjoy and if you are still around let me know what you think. _**

**_Kisses -C_**

* * *

Chapter 10

It took everything Ella had to get through the afternoon without breaking down. It took her even more to get into her car and drive back to her apartment as though there was nothing wrong. It was only as she shut the door that her legs gave way beneath her and she collapsed onto the floor in her hallway; where Ashley found her less than a minute later.

"Oh sweetheart, come on, you can't stay there."

Pulling the brunette carefully onto her feet she left her in the living room, before going into the kitchen to get them both a glass of water and compose herself. She'd spent all afternoon preparing herself for the moment when Ella walked back through the door, yet nothing at all could have prepared her for seeing her friend in this state. Taking both glasses back into the living room she handed one to the younger woman who took a sip before putting it down on the coffee table.

"Come on honey, you have to have more than that, you need to look after yourself."

"That's not what you mean" Ella replied harshly without even looking at her friend.

The older woman looked at her, confused by what she'd said and surprised by her tone. "Sorry?"

"What you mean is I have to look after the baby."

Ashley almost physically recoiled at the bitterness in her friend's voice. "No Ella, what I mean is you have to look after you. You're my friend. You come first."

Ella began to cry harder again. "I'm sorry I don't know why I'm being such a bitch at the moment. All you've done is be kind to me and all I'm doing…"

"… is being hormonal" Ashley interrupted. "Ella you can't help how you feel right now. Being pregnant is hard enough, you know that, without all of the added stress that you're going through at the moment. It's no wonder your mood's all over the place. You have a right to be angry, and scared, and anything else you want to be."

"But I have no right to take it out on the one person that's been there for me."

Ashley gave up and just took hold of her hand. "It's fine" she paused for a moment. "Do you know what you want to do?"

Ella shook her head. "I can't even believe that I'm pregnant. This… it makes no sense. It's impossible."

Ashley laughed softly. "Unfortunately it's never impossible. Accidental pregnancy happens Ella. I'm just so sorry it's happened to you now."

"I… I always said I'd never have an abortion but… I don't want this baby Ashley." Ella confessed, looking at her friend, waiting to see the disapproval in her face. But the older woman showed none.

"It's your choice darling, I'll support you either way. But if you're sure that getting rid of it's what you want then I'll help you get everything sorted."

"You don't think I'm a horrible person for even considering it?"

"No. But Ella it's not me that has to live with this decision either way. Don't rush in and do something you'll regret okay? If you do this… you can't take it back. You get that don't you?"

The younger woman nodded and picked up her water again. "I just… I don't understand how this has even happened."

Ashley gave a small smile. "I don't have it with me but there's a book at home I bought for Hanna when she was twelve that might explain it to you."

Even Ella couldn't help but smile a little at that. "Funny. That's not what I meant."

"I know, but at least I stopped you crying. Now I don't know about you but I've not eaten once today and I'm starving. What do you fancy for dinner tonight?"

AE - AE - AE

Spencer hesitated. She knew that Toby was out at work but even so, if he ever found out…

Groaning she knocked. She had no choice. A always carried through with threats. If A said they'd tell Toby where she'd been the night before, then that's exactly what would happen. Their relationship had already survived so much, but she didn't think it could take the strain of any more secrets and lies.

"Who is it?"

Realising she'd been holding her breath she answered. "It's me, Spencer."

Jenna opened the door.

"What are you doing here?"

Spencer considered lying but then decided the truth would get her out of here much quicker. "I found a positive pregnancy test in the teachers toilet today. I assumed it belonged to a member of staff but then I got a text telling me I should ask you about it."

A look of confusion crossed Jenna's face. "Why me?"

"Well I'm guessing they were insinuating that the test belonged to you."

"Well it didn't" Jenna started to shut the door but Spencer blocked her.

"And I'm supposed to believe you because…"

The other brunette scowled at her "because I say so, and because actually it's none of your business."

"Exactly, so even if you were you'd lie and say you weren't…"

"Spencer I need you to leave."

"And I need you to be honest with me."

Jenna groaned. "Spencer whether you want to believe it or not, I am being honest with you. What do you want me to do take a damn test?"

"Actually…" Spencer started rummaging around in her bag.

"That was a joke. You can't seriously expect me to…" Jenna trailed off and Spencer shoved the box into her hand. Knowing that anyone could see her holding it, even if she couldn't see them, Jenna dragged Spencer inside and shut the door behind them. "I don't know who told you that the test belonged to me, but it didn't, and I'm not going to ask you again. You need to leave, and you need to let whoever text you know that I don't appreciate them spreading rumours about me. Well unless this is you and your sick friend's idea of a joke…"

"It's not, I swear" the older girl said quickly.

"Then whoever text you…"

"Jenna if you're so adamant that this isn't true then why don't you just take the damn test so I can leave."

The younger girl considered what she was being asked to do. It was humiliating and ridiculous but she also knew Spencer Hastings well enough to know there was no point in arguing with her. "Fine, wait here and don't touch anything."

Five minutes later she returned with a negative pregnancy test wrapped in a piece of tissue. "Here, happy now?"

Spencer looked at the test. "How do I know that you really took it…"

"You asked me to do it, I did. Now get out of my house" Jenna shouted, frustrated that nothing she was doing seemed to make any difference to the older brunette.

Two loud beeps followed, one after another, causing both teenagers to look down at their phones.

Only kidding, like anyone would want to touch Jenna. Even her own brother didn't. The test wasn't a joke though so I guess someone's in rEal trouble. Good luck figuring out who bitches. You have one month. Kisses -A

"So someone's definitely pregnant…" Spencer muttered.

"Well done Einstein, the positive test gave that away. And they say you're the smartest person in our year…"

"I am. But that's not the point. If you're not pregnant, then who the hell is? And why is A using them like this?"

"I don't know. And what does we have one month mean? Is that some kind of threat?"

"But which one of us is A threatening?" Spencer mused. Then something dawned on her and her face fell. "Oh god no." She turned to Jenna. "There's only one person that we both care enough about to want to work this out for."

Jenna's face fell to match Spencer's as one word escaped her mouth. "Toby."

AE - AE - AE

It was three o clock in the morning when the pair were woken from their sleep by the sound of a text message coming through.

"My phone?" Ashley questioned.

"No mine, although I could have sworn I'd put it onto silent before we went to bed" Ella mumbled leaning over to see who it was. "It had better be important, who the hell texts at this time of the night?" She blinked in confusion at the message on her phone before the horror of what she was reading hit her.

Ashley leant over her shoulder to read what it said, not seeing her face and wondering if one of the kids had drunk too much at a party and needed picking up.

_You kill Zack's child, I'll kill Byron's. Sweet dreams bitches -A_

* * *

**_I hope that also answered some of the questions! If you have any more let me know and I'll try and clarify anything that won't spoil the story. :)_**


	11. Chapter 11

_**Thank you for the lovely reviews. I'm pleased that people are still reading this, although I think we've lost a few readers along the way. **_

_**Here's chapter eleven. Things aren't moving massively quickly but there is a HUGE plot twist that I'm going to be writing soon if I continue with the story. I've had it planned for a long time but I didn't want to just jump into it because it's going to change EVERYTHING between Ashley and Ella. It's going to be the biggest threat to their relationship yet! But I wanted to establish a few other things before that bombshell gets dropped. **_

_**Anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter. Some angst. Some cuteness. And a bit more Spencer &amp; Jenna. **_

_**Kisses -C**_

* * *

Chapter Eleven

Unsurprisingly, after receiving a text from 'A' neither Ella nor Ashley wanted to go back to sleep. Instead Ashley grabbed a blanket from one of Ella's chest of draws and they both went into the living room to curl up under it on the sofa.

Ashley wanted to say something to break the horrible silence they'd been in since the message came through, but what? How did you make someone feel better about the fact a stranger knew they were pregnant with a baby they didn't want and was threatening to harm her children unless she kept it? Ella for her part was holding up far better than Ashley had expected. Of everything that had happened to her so far this was probably the worst, the one least in her control anyway. Yet this time Ella hadn't cried. She hadn't thrown up. She hadn't even spoken. This lack of reaction was almost worse for Ashley. She wished her friend would do something. Scream, cry, shout. Anything other than just staring blankly into space like her soul had been sucked out from her.

There were so many questions running through Ashley's head, but with no idea where to even begin she asked "Do you think it was planned? The baby I mean. Not by you, but by Zack and this 'A' person?"

Ella shook her head "no, there's no way he planned it."

Ashley stared at her blankly.

"He um… it wasn't in the letter."

"Oh… yeah that's true" Ashley nodded. She was just relieved that Ella responded to her; she had wondered if shock would prevent her from speaking but apparently not.

"Whoever it is knows we're together. They signed it off to both of us" mused Ella.

Ashley shrugged. "That's hardly surprising. If they know you're pregnant then there's no way they weren't going to know I was staying here. I thought we'd already established that neither of us care whether people find out or not though…?"

Ella shook her head. "I know; that wasn't what I meant. Just because we're together it doesn't mean 'A' had to make a point of it in the text. We know that we're being spied on, otherwise how would they know about the baby? So it's not just to shock us that they know we're together."

"Maybe to make it clear that he hates both of us, not just you? Although the letter to Ted had already made that pretty clear. Maybe they're just letting me know they're pissed because I said I'd support you if you decided on a termination?"

"Maybe" Ella mumbled. "I'm sorry Ash, all I've done recently is drag you into my mess. If you wanted to leave I'd understand."

"I'm not going anywhere. Whoever this creep is they're clearly stalking us so there is not a chance in hell I'm leaving you on your own. When Hanna gets back you're either moving in with us or she's going to stay with Caleb so I can be here with you."

"Don't be silly…"

"I'm not being silly. They've already threatened to harm Aria and Mike, there's no way I'm leaving you in an apartment on your own with this psychopath clearly targeting you."

Ella sighed. "I'm far too tired to argue with you now."

Ashley smiled. "Good. Honey you're shivering let me go grab you a jumper." The older woman went to stand up but Ella started shaking her head violently.

"No, please don't just disappear and leave me" even as she said it Ella hated herself for being so needy. But the thought of being left alone at the moment terrified her, even if Ashley was only in the next room.

Realising what the problem was Ashley moved herself around so that she was next to Ella, and pulled the brunette into her arms. "Fine, but snuggle into me to keep yourself warm."

Ella happily obliged, pleased for an excuse to be closer to her. Silence fell over them once again while Ella tried to absorb everything that had happened over the past couple of days.

Having an abortion may have broken Ella's heart in a way that Ashley would never have understood, but when the alternative was having Zack's child that certainly seemed the easiest option. Yes she'd have to live with her decision, but at least that way no one else would. If she kept the baby then the entire world would know. They would see her as the stupid middle aged woman that screwed up and got pregnant with a man that preferred teenage girls. They'd question Aria and Mike about what it was like to have another sibling so much younger than they were. Ask Byron how it felt that she was having a baby with a man that wasn't him. This would affect so many lives. Cause so much hurt. But when the other option was risking the lives of the people she loved the most… "I have no choice now do I? I have to keep this baby."

Ashley turned her head to face her. "Honestly? I don't think you can risk not. I'm so sorry Ella…" She held her friend a little tighter to her side.

"I'm going to be a forty two year old single mother living in a one bedroom apartment with a baby. My other two children are going to hate me. Not to mention my ex-husband. And I get to spend the rest of my life alone with a miniature Zack to remind me of my worst ever mistake. Whoever this 'A' is must really hate me."

Ashley shook her head. "You're not alone sweetie. I told you…"

"I know, but I can't let you just give up your life Ashley. And either way at some point in the next few months 'A' will get bored and disappear. Then you have no reason to still have me living with you anyway. You'll meet someone who will marry you and spend their life with you and Hanna. You already have men fighting over you Ash. The only time men fight over me is when one of them's trying to get away from me. If they don't want to be with me now, they certainly won't when I have a small child to take care of."

"Men aren't fighting over me El" she paused and then grinning added "And hey we've already solved this problem anyway. We've agreed to just forget other people and start dating each other. I don't mind if you have a baby." She giggled and gave the brunette a small reassuring squeeze. It might be a joke, but she wanted Ella to realise this baby didn't mean her life was over. She would meet someone who would love her and this child, as well as Aria and Mike.

Ella forced a small smile. "Thanks for the offer but you don't mean it. You have got everything going for you Ashley, you can do much better than a screwed up mess with a screaming baby. Not to mention the fact that this baby is definitive proof I'm definitely a woman, and the last time I checked you still liked men."

"Pfft after Wilden, Jason and Ted I'm not so sure about that. Baby or no baby I think my life would be far easier with you than any of them."

"Not all men are like them Ashley. And hey Ted isn't a bad guy, just not the right one for you. But someone else will be."

The redhead shrugged. "You can say whatever you like, but I'm just as likely to end up alone as you are Ella. I don't exactly come without baggage. The divorce, the child, the cheating… not to mention the murder charge. Oh the fact I have huge scars over most of my body. At least you'll have a baby at the end of this. Another human being that loves you unconditionally. All I have right now is a teenage daughter that's leaving to go to college and a long list of failed relationships and police incidents.

Ella smiled a little bit and pulled a face at her. "Hey it's not a competition. But even if it was, the person that's being forced to have a baby with a man that was paid a quarter of a million pounds to screw her would still win."

Ashley laughed. "Yeah yeah, if you say so."

The brunette breathed out slowly. "It would be nice though. To just fall in love with each other. So simple. You already know half of my secrets. You're smart, funny… you've seen me in my underwear. I've seen your scars and don't mind that if you cook you'll probably kill me. We get along, like the same television programs and you'd happily raise this baby with me."

"Liking the same programs on TV is a priority for you then?" Ashley giggled.

Ella stuck her tongue out childishly. "You laugh but most of the arguments with Byron before the affair were over what we watched."

Ashley suddenly looked at her intently. "You know what… maybe you're right. Look this is probably crazy but… do you want to marry me?"

Ella's jaw dropped. "What?"

Ashley looked at her seriously for a moment before bursting into a fit of hysterical laughter. "Don't look so worried. I was joking."

Ella hit her playfully. "You wouldn't be laughing if I'd said yes."

Ashley smiled softly. "You don't know that. You never answered me."

Ella tilted her head slightly. They were now a mere inch apart, looking into each others eyes with amused confusion. And then it hit her. She was wrong when she discovered the truth about Zack and said she never wanted to date again. She wanted this. She wanted to be this close with someone again. To have someone that would hold her while she cried. Share a joke with her while they lay curled up on the sofa at four in the morning. Someone there when the rest of the world wasn't. And now she couldn't have that. Because she had this baby. Her teeny tiny reminder of how stupid she was. All she had left now was Ashley, who, for whatever reason, liked her enough to want to be here even with the amount of crazy in her life right now.

So she kissed her. Not because she wanted to be with her in that way. Not because she genuinely saw anything between them but friendship. But because she was hurt and angry and terrified and a hundred of other things that she couldn't even begin to find the words to express. So instead she poured every emotion into kissing Ashley while warm tears trickled down her cheeks.

And Ashley kissed her back. Part of her feeling guilty, like she was taking advantage of her vulnerable friend. But she also understood that it was what Ella needed right now.

So for nearly ten minutes both women lay with their arms wrapped around each other, lips pressed together.

When they stopped there was a moment of awkward silence before Ella mumbled "I'm still not marrying you."

Ashley laughed. "You say that now…"

AE - AE - AE

Spencer took the glass Jenna offered her and sighed. "I have read and re-read this text a thousand times but A hasn't exactly given us much of a clue. I mean the 'E' is a capital letter, but what does that mean? Does that mean their first name begins with E, like the geography teacher Emma Dawson? Or does that mean the surname does like Mrs Evans? Or does it just mean education, as in it's someone that works in the school - which we can already assume anyway. Unless of course we can't. 'A' could just be setting us up and could have left it there to confuse us. Just because someone's pregnant doesn't necessarily mean that test wasn't fake. It could have just been left there for us to see it. Although how 'A' would know I'd be the next person to use that bathroom… unless they were following me and planted it there while I was in the cubicle?"

Jenna sat down and didn't speak for a moment. Eventually she replied with "if we don't assume it's either a teacher or student then we have nothing to go on at all so I'd say start there."

"If we list every student and teacher who's first or last names begin with an 'E' we could be here for years…"

"Unless there's a reason they want us to know. Someone connected to one or both of us? Emily perhaps?" Jenna tilted her head curiously at Spencer. Well at least in the direction that Spencer's voice seemed to be coming from. God she missed her sight…

Spencer shook her head and then corrected herself. "No, no it won't be Emily."

"Just because she's dating girls doesn't mean that she hasn't slept with a guy."

Spencer shook her head again and then realised her mistake for the second time. "Trust me, if she had I'd know."

Jenna shrugged. "Well then a teacher perhaps."

"I've never had either Emma Dawson or Mrs Evans. I mean that's assuming you're right. Maybe it is one of them… Could be someone just one of us know…"

"I've never had either of them."

"Well then we're stuck…"

A thought suddenly crossed Jenna's mind. "We do both know a teacher who's name begins with E."

"Go on…?"

"Ezra Fitz."

Spencer laughed. "I have been informed by Aria that he is, most definitely, male."

Jenna shook her head. "What if the clue isn't related to the Mom. If 'A' wants us to know then it's obviously meant to be something shocking or scandalous. What's more scandalous than a student that's pregnant with her teacher's baby…?"

Spencer's jaw dropped. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that perhaps you might want to have a chat with Aria about whether or not she and Mr Fitz are hiding something."

"Why would you think…"

"I don't think Spencer. I know. Now let's not play games because we don't have time for that. Are you going to talk to her or do I have to?"

"Fine, I will" Spencer said crossly. "But I already know the answer Jenna. Aria isn't stupid."

"I'm not saying she is. But accidents happen after all. I would know." Jenna said meaningfully.

Spencer put her glass down. "Fine, whatever. But I still think you're wrong." And with that she stood up and stormed out of the house.

* * *

_**Please let me know what you thought. If anyone has any idea of the massive bombshell I'm going to drop in a couple of chapters then feel free to guess. I'd love to see where you think I'm going with the story. :) **_


	12. Chapter 12

_**GUYS I'VE FINALLY WRITTEN THE PART I'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT FOR ABOUT 10 CHAPTERS. Except it doesn't happen until the next chapter. Sorry all. ;)**_

_**I had a huge writing spree today and got so much done. I'm currently finishing off chapter 15. **_

_**I know that some stuff happens in this chapter but not a huge amount but believe me, the next two chapters are VERY intense, with the planned plot twist in chapter 13 and something even more crazy (only in PLL land could this be a thing) in chapter 14. Lots of angst and drama and OMG moments.**_

_**Oh and in other news I do have someone specific in mind for 'A'. **_

_**Hope you all had a good Tuesday.**_

_**Kisses -C**_

* * *

Chapter Twelve

Neither Ella nor Ashley spoke another word after Ashley's final comment. They had both simply smiled at one another and then Ella had returned to her earlier position laying against Ashley's chest, and they had fallen back asleep. It was nearly midday before they woke up. Ella was first and even then it was only her stomach that pulled her from her sleep.

"Not again" was all she managed to say as she crawled out from Ashley's arms and raced towards the bathroom. This in turn woke up the older woman, who followed her friend into the bathroom and returned to her usual position of holding Ella's hair out of her face until she was done. The brunette washed her teeth, tied her hair up, and then mumbled "coffee" before heading back into the living room and collapsing back onto the sofa.

Ashley happily obliged and returned with a hot mug of coffee (a first for her) and a cookie.

"Food, really?" Ella pulled a face.

"You need to line your stomach."

Still unconvinced Ella took the cookie and looking at it suspiciously asked "did you make it?"

"In under five minutes? Strangely not. I bought them yesterday while I was out. They're ginger. It'll help with your morning sickness."

Ella was touched by Ashley's thoughtfulness and could feel her eyes becoming damp. "That was really sweet. Thank you." She took a bite. "Mmmm yum. You're right, you definitely didn't bake these."

Ashley laughed and hit her playfully. "Hey play nice or you don't get another one. Oh and I phoned up work for you and let them know you weren't feeling great. Another stomach bug. You're going to have to start ordering take out from somewhere else."

"Thank you." Ella sunk back onto the chair. "I don't know how much more of this morning sickness I can take"

Ashley chuckled. "That's exactly how I felt during mine. Did you not get it with your other two then?"

Ella shook her head. "No. I've never had morning sickness before."

AE - AE - AE

"Aria can I please talk to you."

The shorter brunette looked up from her work. "Why of course you may Spencer. Is there a reason we're being so formal or is it just because we're in the library and that's basically your Holy ground?"

Spencer checked that there was no one close enough to hear them and then sat down opposite her friend. "It's just… there's something I need to ask you. 'A'… sent me a text."

"You're still being targeted? I thought 'A' had left us all alone now?"

"Apparently not. I got a text telling me… Aria are you pregnant?" Spencer hissed the last bit so quietly it took Aria a moment to make sure she'd heard her correctly.

"Excuse me?"

"The text… it basically suggested that Ezra…"

"That he got me pregnant? No Spencer we're not stupid. We know how to use a condom."

"Accidents happen…"

"Spencer I'm not pregnant. Now unless you have anything important to add, I have a ton of math work to get through."

"Fine" Spencer walked away sadly. She hated having to upset her friend but she knew it would have been far worse if Jenna had done it. And it wasn't like she could point that out to Aria. It was bad enough that she knew Spencer had thought she might be pregnant, without her knowing Jenna was involved too.

But if her friend was telling the truth, which Spencer knew she was, then that meant that the capital 'E' referred to someone else. Well that's if it meant anything at all…

Her phone went off and she groaned.

_Close, but not close enough. Try again bitches -A_

She hated jumping every time her phone… "oh for goodness sake not again" she mumbled to herself as her phone vibrated for a second time.

_Not Aria then. Could Mr F be cheating? Close but not close enough suggests we're on the right track… J _

Spencer shook her head and replied.

_No way. If she isn't then it's not his. Maybe it's another male teacher whose name begins with 'E'? S x_

AE - AE - AE

"Hanna comes back tomorrow" Ashley said a little nervously. It was the following Saturday and the pair were eating take out curled up on the sofa.

Ella had to be convinced to eat. She was now getting morning sickness for most of the day. She'd just about managed to get through the week teaching, but it had been a struggle and she'd had to duck out of class a couple of times. It also wasn't helping with her mood. Ashley had spent most days barely speaking incase she had her head bitten off again. She had so many questions about the baby that she wanted to ask but there was just no way of doing it until Ella's mood improved. She'd hoped being the weekend it might have been better today, but there hadn't really been much change. With no choice when her daughter was returning the following day, Ashley had been forced to brace herself and bring up the topic she'd been needing to since the beginning of the week.

"I know."

"Have you decided whether you want to stay with me or not?"

Ella shook her head. "I can't Ashley. It's hard enough to hide this baby at school, there's no way Hanna wouldn't notice me throwing up for hours every morning if we lived in the same house. But I'm not letting you send her to Caleb's either. That will cause just as many questions. Questions I'm just not ready to answer that. I'll be fine here, you need to go home to your daughter."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Okay" Ashley replied without argument. The advantage to waiting so long was that she'd had enough time to consider what she'd do when Ella refused her offers. Normally she'd argue but she knew better. Antagonising her wouldn't help, not with the mood she was in. And aggravating her wasn't going to do the baby any good. The older woman had a different plan, one which was likely to have a much higher success rate.

"Right, well…" Ella wasn't sure what to say. It wasn't surprising that Ashley wanted to be away from her. She wasn't exactly the easiest person to live with at the moment. But she'd still expected the redhead to put up a little more of a fight, and it hurt a lot that she hadn't. Not that she could have accepted either of her offers anyway, but… it would still have been nice for her friend to fight for her a little bit.

AE - AE - AE

"You're back" Jenna said when the door opened and Spencer walked in.

"How do you know it's me?" the taller girl asked.

"No one else visits me and Toby's working" came the reply, and Spencer felt a little bit bad for her. It must be hard enough to have lost your sight, without having to deal with it alone. It wasn't like Jenna hadn't had friends when it happened. Although she'd not long arrived in Rosewood she was still remarkably popular. But teenage girls move on quickly, and by the time Jenna had returned they'd all gone on without her. Feeling guilty Spencer vowed to be nicer to her.

"I need to talk this through with someone and you're the only other person that knows."

"Okay. Drink?"

Spencer shook her head and then corrected herself "no, thanks". She really needed to get used to saying yes and no out loud.

They both walked through to the kitchen and Spencer sat down. "There's no way that Ezra would be able to cheat on Aria. She practically lives with him these days. So if he isn't the 'E' who else could it be?"

Over an hour later Spencer left having decided to think about it over night and see if she could come up with anything.

Less than five minutes later Toby had arrived at the house and Jenna text Spencer saying they had to be more careful. Toby finding out Spencer had been there would result in far too many questions. Questions that could lead him straight into harms way.

AE - AE - AE

The following morning after an awkward twelve hours Ashley packed up her things, gave Ella a quick hug, and walked out of the door without even looking back.

Fighting the tears that were now falling down her cheeks Ella collapsed against the door. Five minuets later her morning sickness kicked in again and she moved to the bathroom; where she sat alone for over two hours until it had passed enough for her to go back to her room. She spotted Ashley's glass of water that had been sitting on her bedside table for over a week. Picking it up she threw it across the room where it smashed into the opposite wall.

Ella curled up on her bed and cried.

AE - AE - AE

"It's a good job Toby's working so much" Spencer said as she headed back into Jenna's kitchen.

"I know, we really need to be more careful you only just missed him yesterday."

"Well if we work this out then I won't have to keep coming round and it won't be a problem."

Jenna nodded. "I can't see that happening any time soon though. Do you have any idea who it could be?"

"No. But let's go through what we do know. It's someone who's name relates to the letter 'E' somehow. Someone that has either gotten someone pregnant they shouldn't, or is pregnant when they shouldn't be. Or with someone they shouldn't have."

"And we're sure that it's not Aria and Mr Fitz?"

"Yes, and I'm not asking her again. She's got enough on her plate at the moment without me constantly harassing her. 'A' said we were wrong anyway."

"What's wrong with Aria? Sick of having to sneak around with her English teacher behind everyone's back?"

"None of your business" Spencer snapped and then felt guilty. "Sorry, I know you have plenty of reason not to trust us, but she says she's not and I believe her. I know what's at stake here, I'm not going to rule anyone out unless I'm completely positive. 'A' and Aria both say it's not her, so it's not."

"Okay. But just for the record it's 'A' I believe not Aria. And if there's any sign that 'A' was lying when they said we were wrong about her, I don't care what boyfriend trouble she's having I will ask her myself."

Spencer was getting frustrated now. "She's not having boyfriend trouble, she's just worried about Mrs Montgomery."

"Why is she worried about her? She seems fine to me. I know she was off sick the other day but a stomach bug never killed anyone."

"It's not just that."

"Then what is it?"

Spencer wanted to tell her that it was none of her business again but she figured it was quicker and easier to just answer her questions. "She's been acting really strangely for the past few weeks. Distant. She spent like four weeks not leaving the house other than work. Then she left the house again but kept getting text messages in class. She walked out of one of our lessons this week for like ten minutes, and apparently she's left one of her other…" Spencer suddenly went silent. "Oh no… no no no no."

"What?"

"She's getting texts. She's been acting really strangely since she broke things off with Zack. She's off sick and then keeps leaving class even when she is in…"

Both phones went off.

_Sherlock Spencer gets it right again. I hope Ella feels better soon. Morning sickness is a bitch. Kisses -A_

AE - AE - AE

It was quarter past midnight and Ella was fighting the temptation to open a bottle of wine. Surely one glass wouldn't hurt the baby. Maybe even two. It must be safer for the baby if she had a bit to drink rather than was up all night unable to sleep…

"Arggggh" she shouted out in frustration. It had been hard enough to sleep before Ashley stayed, now she had even more going round her head. Not only did she have the baby to contend with, but she couldn't get away from how hurt she was that her friend had just packed up and left her. She'd been so kind over the past week. So sweet and thoughtful and understanding. It was as though she genuinely cared about her.

Obviously Ella had been wrong.

She pulled their blanket a little higher over herself. She could still smell Ashley's perfume on it. Tears of frustration and anger and hurt were now beginning to trickle down her cheek. Should she have accepted Ashley's offer? No. Not when her friend so clearly hadn't meant it. Not when she'd been so quick to just take no for an answer and walk away from her.

Crying was making her feel sick again. She wanted to have another of the ginger biscuits that Ashley had been feeding her, but couldn't bring herself to do it. A couple of minutes later and she stumbled towards the bathroom. She was sick until there was nothing left inside her, and then with a smear of it still down her chin and across her cheek, she went back to the living room and sat back under the blanket.

There was a sound in the hallway and Ella felt her heart begin to race. No one else had a key to her apartment so whoever it was must have broken in. Of course, 'A' would now know that Ella was alone and was coming to… she didn't even know. Shaking she stood up and just as she reached the door and leant to pick up the heaviest thing in the room, the door stop, it swung open and she screamed.

* * *

_**Please keep letting me know what you think. **_

_**And also whether you're ready for the bombshells that I'm about to drop on you. Shall I post another part tomorrow morning (it's like 10pm here) or shall I wait a few days and drag it out? ;) **_

_**Sleep tight chicks. **_


	13. Chapter 13

**_Wow 3 reviews in one night? You guys sure work fast when you want the next part. ;) If you manage to get to 3 reviews before I go to bed tonight (about 14 hours from now) then I may even post chapter 14 today._**

**_I hope you all enjoy chapter 13! _**

**_Kisses -C_**

* * *

Chapter Thirteen

"Oh god I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I thought you were asleep. I did knock but you didn't answer…"

"Ashley" Ella breathed out.

The older woman took in her friend's appearance. Her hair was unbrushed and in a knot on her head. There was dried sick across most of her face and dark circles under her eyes. "I've only been gone for twelve hours, what the hell's happened?"

"What are you doing here?" The brunette asked ignoring the question.

Ashley gave a small smile. "You didn't think I was just going to leave you did you? But I knew you would argue with me and I didn't want to stress out you and the baby. I thought if I left you alone just long enough to realise that you didn't want to be, I could then come back tonight and you'd let me in. Except when I knocked no one answered so I thought maybe you were doing okay on your own after all. So I let myself in just to check you were okay and put the key back, and then I was going to leave. Good job I didn't. I mean not stressing you obviously didn't go as well as I'd planned, but what on earth's been going on since I left?"

"You didn't leave the spare key behind this morning?" Ella questioned, ignoring Ashley's question for a second time.

"No, I was going to so it looked more realistic but I was so busy worrying about leaving you I totally forgot." She stepped towards the brunette so they were only a couple of inches apart and as she got closer, even in the dimmed light she could see her friend's face was bright red and tear stained. "Oh sweetie. I just wanted you to be worried enough about being alone not to fight me when I came back. I never meant to upset you this much and then terrify the life out of you. How long have you been crying for? Your face looks so swollen and red…"

"Since you left" Ella answered her question for the first time. She'd considered not, but was too tired and relieved she hadn't been murdered to worry about how pathetic that must sound to her friend.

"You've been crying all that time? Why didn't you text me?"

Ella shrugged. "You left without even looking back. I figured you were just happy to get out. I wouldn't have blamed you. My life is a total mess and I'm doing nothing but be fowl to you. Why would you want to stay?"

"Because you're my best friend and I love you; you dozy cow."

Ella opened her mouth to respond, but yawned instead. Ashley laughed softly. "Right we're cleaning your face and then you're going to bed. You have work in the morning and you're never going to make it in at this rate."

"Okay" there were about a hundred of questions Ella wanted to ask her, but there would be time for that tomorrow. Right now there was nothing she wanted more than to just crawl into bed next to her friend and get some sleep. She was grateful she hadn't got as far as drinking the wine. Ashley would have smelt it on her they were standing so close together.

She took a step forward and then looked down confused, noticing for the first time that the inside of her legs felt damp. She'd been so busy focused on Ashley's return that she hadn't noticed. Her legs felt cold but then she was shivering…

Ashley sensed her hesitation and turned back around. Realising that Ella was looking down and turning an even darker shade of scarlet Ashley followed her eye line and then realised what the problem was.

"On second thoughts, let's stick you in the shower first."

Ella looked up at her, embarrassment burning on her face. "I… I don't understand…"

"Stress incontinence. Don't worry it's really common in pregnancy anyway. I had to stop running when I carried… you know what it's too late for story time. Go hop into the shower and I'll clean up. Meet you in the bedroom in a few minutes?"

"No, I can't let you…"

"Yes you can" Ashley said pushing her towards the door. "It's my fault and hey, I've already cleaned up sick, what's one more bodily fluid? Off you go."

Still feeling completely humiliated Ella left the room, if nothing else just so that she didn't have to look at the pity in Ashley's face. She quickly washed herself off in the shower and then did her teeth. She pulled on the clean pyjamas that she'd taken into the bathroom with her and walked back into her room.

When she walked in Ashley was half way through changing into pyjamas. She had the bottoms on but hadn't yet pulled the t-shirt over her head. She was facing away from the bathroom door leaving Ella with a clear view of her back. The scar seemed even darker in this light. When Ashley turned around after pulling her top on she found the younger woman still staring at where her back had been seconds before.

"Please don't stare at it. I know it's there. I know it looks awful…"

The vulnerability in her voice brought Ella's thoughts away from her own problems. Seeing Ashley standing, hair tied back, no make up on, and in her old t-shirt and pyjama shorts made her look so much younger. Her face so much softer than how it was when she was facing the outside world.

The brunette made her way across the bedroom floor and turned Ashley back around. For the second time since they'd become friends she raised the back of her t-shirt and ran her right thumb along the length of the scar, while Ashley tensed under her touch.

"We all carry scars from our past Ash"

"They aren't all that visible."

"None of yours can be seen unless you're undressed. Mine will be in a buggy."

Ashley turned back around to face her. "It's not a scar Ella. It's a baby. Look around you, there are so many single parents in this town. No one's even going to blink at one more."

"But…"

"Honey our kids have all been arrested. Their best friend was murdered and then came back from the dead. Veronica Hastings is divorced. Believe me, this town already has enough to talk about. But if it makes you feel that better I'll announce undying love to Jason seconds after you announce your pregnancy. You're having a child. I slept with one. That's way more interesting to the great people of Rosewood."

Ella couldn't help but giggle. "How do you always know the right thing to say?"

Ashley smiled. "I don't. But thank you for not noticing. Now come on, bed!"

They crawled under the duvet and Ella moved over so she was leaning against her friend's shoulder. Ashley turned her head down slightly to face her and whispered softly. "I'm guessing what happened earlier didn't happen with the other two?"

"Sorry?" Ella looked up at her confused.

"When you were pregnant with Aria and Mike. You didn't…" she trailed off as Ella's face paled. "Sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel embarrassed. You really have nothing to worry about but if you don't want to talk about it then…"

"It's not that" Ella interrupted.

Now it was Ashley's turn to look confused.

Ella looked down. "I… I didn't want to… I didn't want to tell anyone. Ever. I know we should have years ago but… it would change everything. But Zack… he was talking about… and I couldn't not tell him. No one else knows. Just me and Byron and now Zack."

"Okay now you've officially lost me."

"It was the thing I was most terrified of Zack telling 'A'. If someone like 'A' can afford $250,000 for a 'relationship', this… it's easily worth $50,000."

Ashley leant down and took Ella's hand. "I don't know what I've just managed to bring up, but whatever it is, you don't have to tell me. There's no obligation. I stand by what I said before. If you need to talk about it then I am here, one hundred percent. And whatever you say stays completely between us. But if it's something you don't want to tell then that's okay too. It won't change anything between us either way."

"You don't know that."

"Yes. Yes I do." Ashley tilted Ella's head back so she was facing her. "There is nothing you can tell me that will change anything between us."

Ella took a deep breathe. "When I said I wasn't pregnant that day, it was because I knew that I couldn't be. I can't have children Ashley, at least I… I thought I couldn't."

Ashley shook her head. "But… Aria and Mike?"

"Aren't mine and Byron's. They were adopted. I have no idea about morning sickness or stress incontinence or anything else pregnancy related because I've never been pregnant before."

"They don't know?"

"No. Byron said we had to tell them when they were old enough to understand but when Aria got to an age where she would have, I pleaded with him to keep it a secret. It all happened so many years ago now that even I forget they aren't mine. It was only when Zack said about having a child with him that I had to admit that I couldn't…"

"Oh Ella." Ashley didn't know what to say. She didn't think anything would shock her anymore but this had completely taken her by surprise.

The brunette was crying. "I know you have a thousand other questions Ash but… please don't make me…"

"Shhhh" Ashley cut her off. "Sweetheart I'm not going to make you talk any more about it if you're not ready. I feel honoured that you trust me enough to share this with me. But I'm so sorry I kept asking you questions about your other pregnancies. I can't even begin to imagine how hard that was for you."

"You didn't know" Ella replied horsely. "Please… can we pretend this conversation didn't happen. Just for tonight."

"Of course. Oh but on another note, before you ask, Hanna doesn't know I'm here. She wanted to go and see Caleb because they've been apart for" she grinned and did an impression of her teenage daughter "'like a whole ten days'. I told her as she'd managed to be away for such a long time without getting arrested or doing anything stupid she could have a couple of days with him. It won't buy us long but at least we have a couple more days…"

"Thank you. I… I can't even put into words how much it means to me that you're doing all of this."

"Hey, what are friends for?"

And with that the pair shut their eyes and Ella curled back into Ashley's side.

Ella eventually fell asleep, exhausted enough that she couldn't fight it any longer. The older woman wasn't so lucky. There was something about what Ella had told Ashley that shook her to her very core, but she couldn't work out what. Thinking about her own secret Ashley sighed quietly. No wonder she felt so strangely about what she'd just been told. Ella had trusted her enough to share her biggest secret, whereas Ashley…

* * *

_**Dun dun dun. **_

_**There we are, that's the surprise that I've been waiting for about ten chapters to put in. And that was supposed to be where it ended... except then I changed my mind and did something even more shocking and slightly cruel. (Because you have to be cruel to the poor Rosewood residents **_**_right?) _**

**_But that's all revealed in chapter 14. It's pretty crazy how I've kept this hidden for 12 chapters and now within 2 everything suddenly changes. I'm half way through chapter 16 and things are still going a hundred miles an hour. _**

**_Anyway, let me know what you think so far. _**

**_Have a good day bitches. ;) -C_**


	14. Chapter 14

_**I am completely overwhelmed at the amount of support I've received for the last chapter. I'm so pleased you all enjoyed where I took this. **_

**_I hope you enjoy this chapter just as much! _**

**_Kisses -C_**

* * *

Chapter Fourteen

When Jenna and Spencer saw each other at school the following morning they showed no sign of recognition. This was what they'd agreed. 'A' wanted them to know, and now they did. But even Jenna agreed that she didn't want to hurt the teacher that had been nothing but kind to her. So they forgot what they'd learnt. When it was officially announced they'd look as shocked as everyone else, and no one would ever know when or how they really discovered it.

During her lesson they behaved as though nothing has changed, although Spencer did have to fight her urge to take the huge pile of books from her hand and tell her she shouldn't be carrying anything that heavy. Thankfully though Jenna seemed to realise what she was thinking and glared at her across the room.

"What is that bitch's problem?" Emily asked, seeing the scowl.

"Who cares" Hanna shrugged. "She hates us. We get it. If she wants to give us looks across the room that's up to her."

The others exchanged a smug smirk behind her back. They knew she'd been allowed a couple of nights with Caleb and that was the reason for her total indifference about everything else.

A couple of hours later Spencer was back at her locker, relieved she'd got through the first class with Mrs Montgomery now that she knew. It could only get easier from now on in.

Just as she thought that her phone vibrated in her hand and she looked down.

_Time to talk to her, because if you don't I will. -A_

She and Jenna both looked up from their lockers at the same time.

"Shit" Spencer whispered to herself. This had been exactly what she hadn't wanted to happen.

AE - AE - AE

That evening both Ashley and Ella pretended the conversation the night before hadn't happened. It had been easier in the morning when Ella's morning sickness distracted from any other topic of conversation, but once she'd come back from work she buried herself under marking until dinner so Ashley didn't get a chance to mention anything.

Now they were eating though, there was no escaping conversation. Ashley had spent the entire day building up to telling Ella her own secret, but now the time had come she found herself lost for words. Instead she said something about the weather until Ella spoke.

"Stop. Please, don't make awkward small talk, it makes me feel worse. I told you because I wanted, needed maybe, you to know. Last night I couldn't deal with anything else. But I told you that today you could ask whatever you wanted. I did think we'd wait until this evening, but if the alternative is let you ramble on about the forecast of rain then please… put us both out of our misery and ask whatever it is that's on your mind."

Ashley tilted her head to the side. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Honestly, I only have one question. I know they're adopted, I know no one knows even the children themselves, and I know you must be terrified about Zack telling 'A'. I also understand now how much help you're going to need over the next few months. The one thing I don't know about is the adoption itself. Are Aria and Mike blood siblings or were they adopted separately?"

Ella calmed her breathing. She had done the hardest part. Now all she had to do was tell Ashley about the process and that was it. She was hiding no more secrets from her friend. She didn't have to go through this pregnancy pretending to the redhead that she had any idea what she was doing.

"We'd been trying for years but nothing had happened. Eventually we both got tested. Byron was fine. I wasn't. Not long after that he started disappearing for days at a time. Working late supposedly. So late he stayed over night. To be honest with you I thought he was having an affair then. That he was going to leave me for someone that could give him the children he so desperately wanted. He knew even before we were tested that there was nothing wrong with him. He was adamant about it. And there wasn't. If he was with someone else… Then one day he appeared with this stupid soppy grin on his face. Stuck his head round the door of our tiny apartment and told me to come outside. I walked out to the car thinking he'd got my some stupid gift to make himself feel less guilty about cheating on me. I was ready to throw it at him and then tell him to pack his bags. And there they were sitting in carseats in the back of the car. Aria and Mike. She was two and a half and he was barely three months old.

Ashley looked at her blankly. "I don't understand, how did he manage to adopt two children without you even knowing?"

Ella smiled softly. "That's what he'd been doing. All that time I thought he was having an affair and he was trying to surprise me. He knew someone, a friend of his brother. And just like his brother she had a whole load of issues. She was an alcoholic that had been having like a six year affair with some married guy from California, but he'd recently ended it. She wasn't capable of raising one child alone, let alone two. The state wanted to put them into the system but Byron said he'd take them. She took some persuading but eventually she realised it was for the best. We could offer them both a life they could never have had with her. It took a few weeks for the papers to all go through, and in that time he started to spend time there so they got used to him. Make the transition easier. He wanted to tell me but she was so volatile that he was scared she'd pull out and it would destroy me. So he waited until everything was in place and then went and collected them." She had been talking to the table, but at this point looked up to face her friend. "We had one conversation when Aria was seven about whether or not to tell her, but after I begged him not to the fact they weren't our biological children was never mentioned again. And as far as I'm concerned Aria and Mike are as much mine as if I'd carried them myself."

Ashley put her fork down and stood up. "I… I need to use the bathroom."

Ashley walked out of the room, her heart racing as the flashbacks started to hit her.

_She saw a man that she now knew to be Byron standing in her living room shouting at her. Telling her she was an unfit mother and didn't deserve the children. That they deserved to be brought up by someone that could actually look after them, and was more interested in their wellbeing than when she could open her next bottle of wine. _

_She heard herself scream "like your wife, is that what you're saying?" _

_He yelled back. "Yes, that's what I'm saying. She desperately wants children Ashley, and unlike you she would actually take care for them." _

_"__I'm not letting you take them away from me." _

_"__I won't have to. The court will do that for me." _

_"__And how exactly are you going to explain them to your wife? Oops sorry darling, forgot to mention my six year affair and three children." _

_"__Don't threaten me Ashley." _

_"__Or what? Or what Byron?" They were in each others faces now, Ashley swaying slightly from the alcohol. _

_"__I'm taking them Ashley and there is nothing you can do to stop me. Ella will be ten times better at being a mother than you would ever be." _

_He pushed her down and while she struggled to get back onto her feet he raced into the bedroom. Panic hit him as he realised there were only two children in the room. Where was Hanna? Hearing movement he knew Ashley was going to be in the room in a matter of seconds. Grabbing Aria from her playpen and Mike from his cot he raced out of the second door, a child in each arm, just as Ashley burst through the first one._

_Ashley ran outside behind him in time to see him put both children onto the floor in the back of his car and jump in. He pulled off while she screamed after him. _

_She ran back inside for her keys and stumbled into her own car. She pressed down as hard as she could on the accelerator and turned right onto the main road. _

_Darkness. _

_When she woke up in the hospital she couldn't remember who she was. They got her name and address from her driving licence. No one knew she'd been drinking when the crash happened. The medics had been so caught up on saving her life that they'd missed it, and Ashley remembered nothing leading up to the crash. The past ten years of her life had completely disappeared. _

_She returned home a couple of days later and a small lady with blond hair knocked on the door less than ten minutes after she'd arrived back. "I don't know what the hell's going on in your life right now but please don't think it's okay to just dump one of your kids on me for weeks at a time and piss off. I'm your neighbour, not your childminder. Next time I dump her at the nearest hospital and you can explain to child services why." _

_"__What?" _

_"__Hanna. She's been here for nearly three weeks. I thought your crazy ass ex might have turned up to get her but apparently not. He was obviously happy to just take her twin sister and the new boy that screams his head off all night and forget about this one. Nice to know her mother's done the same. People like you don't deserve kids." _

_And with that she'd dumped Hanna into her arms and then walked away. _

_"__My ex… what, what was his name?"_

_"__No bloody idea unless it was 'you bastard'._

_Ashley had found the children's bedroom two minutes later. She sat on the floor with her daughter and cried, grieving for the children that she'd lost. That seemed to have been taken by whoever this guy she was seeing. Their Dad perhaps? She wanted to report it but how the hell would she explain that she had no idea who the man was and couldn't even remember the name of her other children. _

_A week later she moved away, unable to live in the house where the extra bed and cot reminded her daily of her loss. Of their loss. Because although she was only tiny it was months before Hanna stopped asking daily "where AA and the baby gone?". It was a year later that she met her husband, and started again. He never knew about the other children because by then Hanna had forgotten._

_But Ashley didn't. Every year on the day that she decided was Hanna's birthday (a hunt of her house turned up no birth certificate or any clue to her past other than hundreds of empty wine bottles) she used to go to church and light a candle for Hanna's twin sister and her baby son. _

Ashley finally made it to the bathroom collapsed onto the floor. She knew Ella's pregnancy was starting to bring back memories from her own, but she always assumed that was as much as her past would ever be. A blur of a couple of old memories that didn't even make much sense. But now…

"Ash…?" Ella asked standing in the doorway.

"Sit down."

Ella did as she'd been asked and sat down on the floor opposite the older woman.

"I need to tell you something. After I have… All I ask is that you let me speak. Let me tell you everything before you interrupt."

"Sweetie you're scaring me" Ella said, a look of concern plastered across her face.

Ashley took a deep breath and began to speak. By the time she was done tears were streaming down both of their faces.

"And you didn't know? Until just now?"

"I knew I had another two children, but no, I didn't know who they were. It never even crossed my mind."

They both sat in deadly silence for another minute before Ella spoke again.

"Get out."

"I'll just get…"

"JUST GET OUT."

The tears fell quicker down Ashley's face but she knew better than to argue. Standing up off the floor she walked to the door, grabbed her handbag and shoes, and walked out.

* * *

**_So there we go. The second big reveal is now out there. I couldn't believe how far back I had to go to even find this chapter, it feels like forever ago now and so much has happened since then. _**

**_Normally I only post a maximum of once a day but as I'm so ahead and there are cliffhangers at the end of almost every chapter at the moment, I'll post after 12 hours as long as most of the people that normally read it have done so. I just don't want to post too often and for people to get behind. But after 12 hours if we've got at least 3/4 reviews then I'll go ahead and post the next chapter. _**

**_Unless anyone has any objection to such regular updates? _**

**_Oh and the next chapter has a lot of Spencer &amp; Jenna being their usual amazing selves as well as some more of the Ella/Ashley saga. _**

**_Sleep well bitches -C_**


	15. Chapter 15

_**I cannot put into words how incredible it was to see so many of you liked where I went. I was a little bit nervous because it had been a last minute addition to the storyline, but to receive so many reviews was really amazing. I have the best readers. 3 Thank you. **_

**_Just a quick note: Jenna is 100% blind. It should be more clear in this chapter. Sorry if my writing of that has been a little sloppy and it's confused you! _**

_**And on with the story... **_

* * *

Chapter Fifteen

"What are we going to do?"

Spencer shook her head. "I have literally no idea… how the hell do you ask your best friend's Mom if she's pregnant with the guy that tried to hit on her friend's teenage daughter?"

They were both hidden in the girls toilets where, after checking they were alone, the pair were pondering on how exactly to do as 'A' asked. So far very little progress had been made.

"Look we'll meet at yours tonight. My Dad's home but Toby's working. It's only Tuesday, I think A will give us until the end of the week."

Jenna nodded. "Sure."

AE - AE - AE

Jenna and Spencer subtly exchanged looks as Ella walked into the classroom, but she didn't notice. All day people had been asking her whether she was okay, and all day she had insisted that she was. But okay was the last thing that Ella was right now.

She'd been awake all night trying to absorb everything that Ashley had told her, and what it meant. For a start Byron's affair with Meredith wasn't his first as she believed. He'd lied to her, even right back at the beginning of their relationship. Secondly everything he'd told her about how they ended up with Aria and Mike was a lie. He hadn't been allowed to adopt them. He had stolen them.

Except did it count as stealing if they were your children? Yes, Ella thought to herself. He took them away from their real mother and didn't give her any choice in the matter. Whatever state Ashley was in at the time, no one deserved to have their babies taken from them like that.

Then she thought of the children. Aria and Hanna - they weren't only friends, but twin sisters. Separated at the tender age of two. By a man that she had loved. That she had married. That she had spent most of her adult life with up until now. He tore his children apart, and then acted as though nothing had happened.

Ella began to teach but her mind wasn't there and so after a couple of embarrassing mistakes she set them some exercises and sat down at her desk, making the class work in silence so she could think in peace.

But even Byron and the children aside (could she really call them her children anymore?) there was still Ashley to consider. Ashley whose life had been a mess, but had turned it around after her accident. Spent years living with the dreadful truth that she had once been a Mom to three children, two of which she thought she'd never see again. Ashley, her best friend. That had held her for so many nights since the letter from Zack. The same Ashley that had calmed her down when she was upset, made her laugh when all she wanted to do was cry, and was always there for her no matter what was going on in her own life.

The person she'd thrown out of her apartment last night for no other reason than she couldn't face the woman that had spent six years with her husband while he was married to her. That had been able to give him the children she couldn't. The children she had raised as her own.

Her friend had needed her, and she hadn't been there. She couldn't get past her own selfish hurt and anger and realise how dreadful Ashley must have felt. She'd just remembered the worst time in her life, and discovered that the children she thought she'd lost forever were being brought up just down the road from her, by someone she now considered her closest friend. Her closest friend that who's husband had stolen her children and then left her for dead. That never bothered to find out her fate, or that of their third child.

Ella felt the vomit rising up from her stomach and without speaking raced out towards the nearest toilets. Being sick was almost a relief - it was nice to feel something other than guilt, and shame, and pain.

AE - AE - AE

Spencer stood up as Mrs Montgomery raced out the room. "Actually I know how she feels, I really need to pee too." And with that she raced after her, before Aria or one of the others could say anything.

"Hey, wait up."

Spencer turned around to see Jenna behind her.

"I said this was such a waste of an afternoon if the teacher couldn't even be bothered to teach and walked out. We need to do this together Spencer. If we're going to make her feel better we may as well get 'A' off all our backs while we're at it."

Spencer shrugged but went back for her. "Come on quickly incase anyone else decides to follow." She linked arms with the blind brunette so that she could pull her along, and headed into the staff toilets that were just around the corner.

By the time they arrived Ella was collapsed on the floor of one of the cubicles. Spencer let go of Jenna, and after placing her hand on the sink so she knew where she was in the room, moved towards her best friend's Mom.

"Mrs Montgomery…"

"Please just go back to class Spencer. I'm fine. Just ate something for lunch that disagreed with me. Anyway this is the teachers bathroom, you shouldn't be in here."

As she finished speaking Jenna announced "done" and the pair looked up at her. She blushed and mumbled something about being able to lock the door from the inside using a special lock pick, and then leant back against the sink where Spencer had left her.

"Thanks" Spencer said in appreciation, and then turned back to her teacher who she couldn't help but notice looked as though she'd been crying and said quickly. "We know about the baby. We've been getting texts from someone called 'A' and we think you have too. They made us think it was your daughter, or someone else, but then we realised…" she saw her face fall. "But we haven't told anyone, I promise. And we won't. Whoever this 'A' person is, they're not going to win."

Their teacher shook her head. "It doesn't matter anymore anyway."

"Don't say that." Jenna had suddenly moved away from the sinks and was moving towards the voices. Then slowly she knelt down in front of Aria's Mom and took her hand. "That's how I felt about everything when I lost my sight. But then I realised… it doesn't mean that everything's over. You just have to learn to adapt. And it's hard but… if I can do it, you can do it."

"Not on my own I can't" Ella said honestly. "And the one person that I had… I messed everything up."

"Zack?" Spencer asked confused. "He screwed up all on his own."

She shook her head again. "No, not Zack."

Spencer looked even more confused. "Wait… you're seeing someone else? Aria didn't mention it."

"Aria doesn't know. And I'm not seeing them… not like that."

"Who?" it was Jenna that spoke again.

Spencer could see the hesitation in Mrs Montgomery's face and didn't think she'd answer. But much to her surprise after nearly a minute of silence she whispered "Ashley".

"As in Mrs Marin?!" Spencer couldn't hide her shock. When had THAT happened?

"We were having drinks one night and then the following morning she came round to return my phone and I had just got my first note from 'A'…"

Both of the younger girls nodded and Jenna squeezed her hand a little tighter. "If you two have been through something like that together, then whatever's happened between you… it won't suddenly change everything. She's still going to…"

"No she won't" the older woman interrupted. "What I did was unforgivable." Horrified to be crying in front of her students but unable to do anything but, both teenagers were forced to watch as the grown woman in front of them broke down.

It took another ten minutes to calm her down, before both girls said they'd return to class and let them know they were dismissed and to finish off for homework. The forty two year old assured them that she'd be fine, she was just being silly, and then sent them on their way.

They walked out and shut the door behind them.

"We're going to speak to your friend's Mom tonight, right?"

"Definitely. Hanna's still staying with Caleb so she won't know. Straight after school?"

"I'll meet you in the carpark."

AE - AE - AE

"Hi Spencer. You do know that Hanna's not here right?"

"We're not here to see Hanna, we're here to see you Mrs Marin."

The redhead's jaw dropped. "I don't know what's going on but this really isn't a good time…"

"Because of your fight with Mrs Montgomery?" Jenna asked.

"Hang on why are you… How do you…"

Spencer stepped forward. "She walked out of class today to be sick and we found her throwing up and crying in the toilets. We know that she's pregnant; we're getting messages from 'A' too. But that wasn't why she was so upset. It's because you're fighting. And I don't know what's going on between you both but right now she needs you. She's in pieces thinking that she's messed up the friendship you guys have."

Silence.

"Girls you need to leave."

"But Mrs Marin" Jenna started.

"No. Out. Now. Just… just go."

The door slammed behind them.

Spencer sighed. "That went well."

Jenna shook her head. "Give her some time to think. She was hardly going to react any differently with the both of us there watching her. We did what we needed to. She knows Mrs M's upset. She just needs to process it now. It'll be fine. Wait and see."

Spencer laughed softly. "I wish I could share your optimism. Coffee?"

AE - AE - AE

Ella heard a knock at her front door and pulled herself away from the kitchen table where she'd been sitting, head in hands, since she'd arrived home an hour ago.

She opened it and was shocked to see Ashley standing there. With a suitcase.

"Your husband stole my children. You don't get to be mad at me."

Ashley pushed her way through the door and shoved her suitcase to the side. "Now I've remembered some of what happened more keeps coming back. I met him at a bar. I didn't know he was married. I fell in love with him and he told me he loved me too. He worked away a lot but I coped. I got pregnant. We had the twins. It was only then that he told me the truth. I can't remember how yet, I just know he did. And I felt dreadful. That was when the drinking started. I don't remember why I stayed, but I did. A couple of years later I had another child. A son. Mike. A few weeks later Byron turned up telling me that it was over. He didn't love me, I was just a bit of fun. He wanted to spend more time with his wife."

"Ashley…"

The redhead took another step into the apartment. "That's when the drinking got a lot worse. I begged him not to leave me, but he did anyway. Disappeared for over a month. When he came back it was only to tell me I was a rubbish Mom and take my babies away from me."

"Ash…"

"So you don't get to be mad at me. And that asshole doesn't get to ruin our friendship. And you don't get to just throw me out and think I'm going to leave you on your own in the same mess your ex-husband left me in."

"I don't…"

"This isn't up for debate. I've explained to Hanna that you're having a rough time. There was a burglary in the area and it's made you nervous about being here alone. She told me she was fine with Caleb for a few more weeks while I stay here. So this is it, because I'm bored of this game. I run away. I walk away. You throw me out. It all stops now. I already have a load of stuff here and I've brought anything else I might need. I don't care if you shout or scream or cry or tell me that you've committed murder. I'm not going anywhere. Okay?"

After a moment's paused the brunette nodded "Okay. But just for the record, I don't deserve you. The way I behaved last night…"

"You're pregnant and just found out that the children you thought you adopted were stolen from your best friend who'd unknowingly had a six year affair with your husband. I think you get to yell a bit."

"But what you'd just found out was far worse. I should have been there for you but instead I…"

"… shouted and then cried in a toilet at work." She laughed at Ella's shocked face. "Yeah I've seen Holmes and Watson too. Cute kids. Scary… but cute."

Ella smiled weakly. "Yeah they're… certainly different. And how long have those two been friends I thought Jenna hated our girls? Anyway if you're genuinely going to insist on staying for that long you can't keep living out of a suitcase."

"I'll go unpack." Ashley said with a smile, and walked into the bedroom, taking bits out of her suitcase and trying to find spare draws to put them in.

Ella leant against the wall with a small smile on her face. She still felt dreadful and there was still so much wrong between the friends, but no matter how crazy everything felt right now knowing that she wasn't going to be left alone in this apartment was a huge relief.

"Ella why is there glass behind the wardrobe?" Ashley called out from the bedroom.

"It must have been there since last time you left. I threw it against the wall."

Both women chuckled to themselves and Ella went and put on the kettle.

* * *

_**I had planned on keeping the fight going for a little longer but there are so many other important things going on with the plot right now I just wanted to continue on with that. **_

**_As this is the only chapter I've written really without a cliffhanger I thought I'd leave you with a quick hint about the next chapter you could potentially get this evening! ;) _**

**_* Ashley &amp; Ella have a horrible realisAtion and begin to question their relationship. _**

**_Later bitches ;) -C_**


	16. Chapter 16

_**I can't believe this is 16 chapters long now and people are still reading. That's pretty amazing. How long would you like to see it go on? **_

_**Anyway here's chapter 16. **_

* * *

Chapter Sixteen

Later that night Ashley and Ella were eating dinner and discussing what to do about Jenna and Spencer. "They already know everything from the sound of it, and both insisted they were going to keep quiet. I guess we just have to trust them."

Ashley nodded. "My worry is that 'A' might try and blackmail them into talking."

"Then they talk" Ella said simply. "I don't want anyone knowing about this pregnancy, not yet. But if it's 'A' then the alternative is going to be much worse. All I can do is hope that 'A' decides they've caused enough trouble for now and leaves well alone."

"That doesn't sound likely."

"No, it doesn't does it?" Ella said sighing. "Also Ashley… I still owe you an apology." She put her fork down so her entire focus was on her friend.

"You don't…"

"Yes I do. We have to clear the air. One of the best things about our relationship was how open we were with each other, but right now there's an elephant in the room that isn't going to go away just because we want it to. We can't forget what we know, so we can either deal with it or spend the next goodness knows how long awkwardly sidestepping it. Just like we have this afternoon."

"You think it's been awkward?"

"I think we're both too scared to touch on certain topics incase it leads back to something we aren't ready to face."

Ashley looked down at her plate but didn't speak.

"What I did to you yesterday was horrific. You had just realised something that must have broken your heart into pieces, and all I could think about was myself. I was selfish, and I'm sorry."

Ashley looked up. "I'd be lying if I said your reaction didn't hurt me. But I also meant what I said earlier. I understand why you felt the way you did. So your apology is accepted. And I'm sorry too. For everything."

"You have nothing to apologise for" Ella said honestly. "You didn't know Byron was married to me when you were seeing him."

"He has a lot to answer for" Ashley said looking at her friend. "What he's done to both of us… do you know after you broke up for the first time he came around to use my scanner? I had no idea who he was but he… he came in and asked me to dinner knowing that he'd kidnapped two of my children and had raised them with you for nearly fourteen years."

Ella shook her head. "Byron's a creep and we're both better off without him. You were right all those weeks ago. We both have truly atrocious last in men." She took a deep breath and said the thing that had been bothering her most, that she wanted to avoid but knew, especially for Ashley's sake, that she couldn't. "What are we going to do about the children?"

"Aria and Mike are your children Ella, what you do or don't tell them isn't up to me to decide. And either they all have to know or none of them can. I've been lying to Hanna for fifteen years, it's not like it would be a new thing"

Ella shook her head. "You're wrong. They're all your children Ashley, all three of them. I have no right to keep this a secret from them if you think they should know." Suddenly her jaw dropped. "Shit. I think 'A' knows…"

Ashley shook her head. "No way, if 'A' had known then he'd have been dropping hints to try and make us work it out. Whoever it is obviously wants to cause trouble for us…"

Ella wasn't looking at her. She was scrolling through her phone looking for something. "No, look." She held out her phone to the older woman.

_You kill Zack's child, I'll kill Byron's. Sweet dreams bitches -A_

Ashley looked up. "I'll kill Byron's… no one else knows they're adopted so why wouldn't…"

"That's not what I meant" Ella interrupted. "We questioned why 'sweet dreams bitches' was plural. It's because it was a threat to both of us."

"Because 'A' knows they're biologically mine so hurting them would… oh god that wasn't just a threat to Aria and Mike. Byron's children… that includes Hanna."

The pair looked at each other in horror before Ashley shook herself out of it. "Either way, you're keeping the baby so no one's in danger anymore."

"I know. But we're debating which one of us should decide if we tell them when in reality the choice isn't ours at all."

"It's 'A's."

"Exactly" Ella said quietly. "We have no choice. If we don't tell them, 'A' could either blackmail us into doing it or tell them without us knowing."

"And that's not a path we want to go down" Ashley replied, her voice barely above a whisper. Ella had her head in her hands but Ashley leant across the table and took one of them. "Ella I am so sorry. I know how long you've spent keeping the truth from Aria and Mike."

Ella couldn't speak. She'd tried so hard to hold herself together during this conversation to make up for her over emotional reaction the night before, but she knew if she spoke now there was no way she wouldn't cry if she tried to open her mouth.

Understanding, the older woman got up and walked round to her. "There's no point sitting here sweetie, I think we're both done with dinner now." She waited for Ella to stand, and then linking arms with her walked them into the living room. Once they'd both sat down she turned and faced the brunette, legs crossed in front of her. "Ella no matter what happens over the next few days, it doesn't change anything. Aria and Mike are still your children."

"That's not how they'll see it" Ella mumbled, feeling the tears she'd been fighting start to leak down her cheeks.

Ashley shook her head. "They'll be upset you never told them the truth about being adopted. But they'll understand. They're bright kids. Knowing I gave birth to them doesn't change the fact that they were brought up by you. You're their Mom. Not me."

"I'm going to lose them. I know I am."

Ashley knew there was nothing she could do to convince Ella otherwise, so instead went for a slightly different tact. "There is another solution."

Ella looked at her, face pale and blotchy. "Which is…"

"Well if we start dating each other then it doesn't matter who gave birth to them or raised them. We just have to get married and then all three of them are ours anyway."

Ella giggled despite herself. "You say that often enough I'm going to start thinking it's what you really want."

Ashley leant forward and ran a hand tenderly down Ella's cheek. "I can think of worse people to spend my life with."

Ella blushed and pulled back slightly. "Come on Ash, don't you think our lives are complicated enough at the moment without throwing anything else into the mix?"

"Yeah" Ashley sighed "I do." She moved back and after smiling sadly at Ella shut her eyes. "Are we telling all three of them together or are you doing your two and I'm doing Hanna?"

"Well technically they're all your children so I'm pretty sure that means you have to tell all three…"

Ashley opened her eyes and saw Ella smiling at her cheekily. She returned the smile adding "I'm pleased you're learning to see the funny side."

"There is no funny side, we just have to accept things for what they are and not make them seem any worse. They're bad enough without us sitting here acting as though the world has ended."

Nodding the redhead looked away. She'd spent so many years desperately hoping to have her children back. Hear three voices calling out 'Mom' rather than just the one. But now all she could think about is the look of heartbreak that would be on Ella's face if Aria or Mike decided to call her Mom. The truth was if it wasn't for 'A' she would have been in agreement with Ella. The children didn't need to know.

Then there was the fact that Ella's comment earlier had stung a little. Yes she'd been joking about the relationship, and yes when she'd told Ella that there were worse people to spend her life with she'd meant it to make her feel more secure, not as though she was suggesting they actually did it. But to have Ella pull away form her like that as though rejecting the advances that Ashley hadn't actually been making…

As though reading her mind Ella shuffled round so she could lean her shoulder against Ashley's. "We'll tell the kids together."

"Okay."

"I'm scared."

"Me too."

"And I'm not just talking about telling the girls and Mike."

Ashley looked down at her. "The baby?"

"That too. But I'm also scared about us."

Ashley squeezed her shoulder. "Ella I've told you, we're going to be fine. I'm not going to let the fact we both slept with a psychopath ruin our friendship. We've been through too much together to let this get between us. We've got a few weeks and after that you can either come and live with me and Hanna or you can stay here and I'll just keep coming over. And if after telling Aria and Mike they don't want to live with their father anymore then they can come and live with us all too."

"And you'd be happy with that?"

"Ella you're my best friend. I'm not just going to abandon you with this baby."

"And that's all you want? Us to be best friends?" Ella had moved away from Ashley now and was looking at her with an intensity that surprised Ashley.

"Yes sweetie. I was just teasing you earlier."

"You don't feel anything for me at all. You're certain of that?"

"Yes" Ashley said firmly. "I am."

"Well I'm not" Ella confessed, tears clouding her eyes once more.

"You don't believe me?"

"I believe that you don't have any feelings for me past friendship. I'm just not so certain I feel the same way."

Ashley recoiled slightly before beginning to speak. "Okay I lied, I have no idea how I feel about you" she admitted. "What you said earlier stung more than it should, but I also know you're right. This can't be anything more than what it is. And I don't even know that I'd want it to be more than it is. I'm not sure whether there's some genuine feelings there or whether it's just that our relationship has been so intense because of everything that's gone on, the intimacy we have so similar to that between a couple, my head's got confused and thinks it's something it's not. I love how kissing you makes me feel. But the thought of anything else… kind of freaks me out if I'm honest."

"I feel the same" Ella replied. "Part of me wonders whether I do want us to be more than just friends but then I remember my hormone levels are so all over the place I cried the other day because one of the other teachers had accidentally eaten my yoghurt out of the staffroom fridge."

Ashley giggled. "You really are an emotional mess at the moment." She stopped laughing. "And I don't want to take advantage of that. I see you as my best friend, and you see me as yours. Anything else is probably just the result of how crazy our lives are right now. And if not… that's something to worry about in a few months time when our kids know they're our kids and this baby is a real baby and everything's settled down. Until then we're just friends that kissed a couple of times."

"Right" Ella agreed. "That's that sorted then."

"Yes" Ashley confirmed.

They both looked at each other.

"You want to kiss me right now don't you?" Ashley asked softly.

"Would you stop me?" the younger woman replied with a blush.

"No"

So she did.

* * *

_**Does that count as a cliff hanger? **_

**_Chapter 17 will bring another Ashley confession, some more of all of the liars, but especially the friendship developing between Jenna&amp;Spencer. _**

**_I've written as far as chapter 19 so I'll try and update this tonight if people are interested? _**

**_Hope you're all having a good weekend! _**

**_Later bitches -C_**


	17. Chapter 17

_**Thank you again for all of the lovely reviews! The support I'm receiving is pretty incredible. **_

**_Chapters 17 and 18 are both pretty short compared to prior chapters but still too long to post together. But bare with me although they seem like fillers there are lots of things that happen that are going to be really important later on. _**

**_I've just written chapter 19 which is where they finally have to tell the girls the truth and I'm really excited for you to read it. So much happens and it's about 3,500 words long. _**

**_Hope you're having a good weekend! _**

**_Kisses -C_**

* * *

Chapter Seventeen

Aria, Hanna and Emily sat at Emily's kitchen table looking in confusion at the text they'd just received.

_Sorry can't come over tonight, behind with History. S xx_

Hanna raised her eyebrows. "When have you ever known Spencer to be behind in anything?"

"Never" the other two replied.

"Think she's up to something?" Emily asked.

"Definitely" Aria agreed.

"But what?" Hanna wondered.

AE - AE - AE

"Can you imagine Toby's face if he knew how much time we were spending together" Jenna said with a small laugh.

"Yes, that's why I've not told him" Spencer replied, smiling back.

"Is there actually anything left for us to discuss or did you just not fancy an evening with your posse?"

"Well we still need to figure out who 'A' is" Spencer replied a little defensively before adding. "But no. I didn't really want to spend the evening with the rest of the girls. Aria's still mad at me over the whole pregnancy thing, Hanna always knows when something's up, and Emily's having a meltdown over her latest swim meet which then makes me stressed for her which winds her up and… trust me it's better for me not to be there tonight."

"Right" Jenna agreed.

"Do you mind me being here?"

"Well it's not as though I have any other plans for tonight. Most people don't want to come and spend their evening watch me walk around my house using walls and tables. It's not as though I can offer to cook you much. A few times of burning myself and I've learnt to stick with take out or microwave meals."

"That's fine. As long as you can still dial the nearest fast food place I'm good."

Jenna smiled. "Pleased to hear it because that's as good as it's getting." After a moment's silence she added. "Do you think Mrs Marin will have calmed down by now?"

"Not if she's anything like Hanna" Spencer said with a chuckle. "Honestly? I hope so. Mrs M has enough going on in her life right now without this fight hanging over her. I wonder what 'A' did."

"You think it's 'A's fault?"

"You don't?"

"I do, I was just trying to work out what you thought it was."

"I don't know and I think speculating about it is what 'A' would want" Spencer added. "I just… hope it wasn't anything too bad. Whatever it is. She's going to need a friend over the next few months."

"How do you think Aria will take it?"

"Not well" Spencer said quickly. "I only hope she's distracted enough with Mr Fitz that she doesn't give her too hard a time."

"Me too."

AE - AE - AE

"Ash"

"Yes"

"You still awake?"

Ashley giggled. "You did not just ask that? Pregnancy is really getting to your brain isn't it?"

"Oh totally" Ella said with a grin. "So is that what we're blaming earlier on?"

Ashley blushed. "It was certainly very passionate."

"Mhmmm" Ella said a little bit pink too.

"We're still okay though, right?" Ashley tried to pretend she wasn't as concerned as she was.

"Of course. It doesn't change anything. We're just friends that have kissed three times rather than two."

Ashley rolled over to face her. "Don't take this the wrong way but… can I show you something?"

Ella raised her eyebrows "um sure okay".

Ashley hoped the darkness in the bedroom would hide her blush as she started pulling her t-shirt over her chest.

"Whaaaa?" Ella's jaw dropped shocked at Ashley's boldness.

"Actually let me explain before you start staring at my boobs which are not what I'm showing you" the older woman said teasingly but with a blush. "Look this is going to sound really stupid but you've shared everything with me yet there's still one huge thing I haven't shared with you. The two worst scars from Wilden are the the one on my back, and the one on my chest. But you haven't seen that one because the first time I did a scar tour my bra was hiding most of it. It's going to seem ridiculous but if I show you that, do the thing I'm most terrified of…"

"I get it" Ella said tenderly.

"I'll warn you now, it's not pretty."

"I think the one on your back gives me a pretty good idea about what to expect."

"No" Ashley shook her head. "This one is worse, it's just… easier to hide."

"I'm ready if you are" Ella whispered.

Ashley hesitantly pulled her top up and the brunette had to fight back a gasp. The scar that she'd seen on top of Ashley's left breast went the whole way down, straight through her nipple on the inside and down.

"It probably wouldn't have scarred quite as badly in some places if I'd had stitches but I couldn't go to the hospital. The cut I might have been able to explain away but this…"

She turned so that Ella could see the word carved into her skin on the outside of her breast.

"Whore" Ella whispered in horror. She looked back to Ashley who was visibly crying and wiped a tear away from her cheek. "Oh sweetheart, I… I genuinely don't know what to say. I can't believe he… that anyone…" She pulled her friend into a tight hug and then moved her back again so she could see the scars. Fingers ran tenderly down the word and Ashley held her breath. "This is the scar that bothered Ted the most isn't it?"

"Yes"

A question suddenly crossed Ella's mind. "What did Jason say?"

"He didn't see it. I kept my top on with him and just hitched my skirt up. He wanted to… you know" she turned a bit pink "go down on me, but I told him no. That way he didn't actually see any of the scars other than the one on my knee because he wasn't even looking at my thigh's properly. It was dark so he couldn't see much anyway…

"But Ted did…"

"He didn't" Ashley forced herself to continue "he didn't go down there no. I wouldn't let him either. But after the first couple of times he got a bit weird about the fact I wouldn't take my clothes off in front of him. Told me that it was okay, he didn't care about any scars I had. That he loved me anyway." Suddenly Ashley found herself admitting something out loud that she'd never even admitted to herself before. "That's why I slept with Jason. I pretended that Ted's reaction didn't bother me. But it did. I guess I thought by doing what I did with someone and them not seeing my scars… I'd feel better about myself somehow. But obviously what I actually ended up doing was cheating on Ted and making myself feel worse. He's not a bad man Ella. He just couldn't handle my scars. I doubt anyone could."

"You know what you said earlier about not taking something the wrong way?"

"Mhmmm" Ashley nodded.

"Well don't take this the wrong way but…" Ella moved her head so that it was in line with Ashley's chest, and before the older woman could object she placed a tender kiss onto the part where the word was carved into her skin. Pulling back she looked to her friend. "I'm only going to tell you this once more Ash. There is nothing, nothing at all, wrong with your scars."

Ashley cried until it hurt, before falling asleep in Ella's arms.

The following morning neither said a word about the night before, but there was a feeling of peace and security between them that didn't require words.

* * *

_**Poor Ashley, life hasn't really been kind to her has it? **_

_**Let me know what you think bitches -C**_


	18. Chapter 18

**_As of this chapter this is officially the longest fanfic I've ever written. Thank you for being the fandom to support me enough for me to want to get this far. _**

**_Kisses -C_**

* * *

Chapter Eighteen

Spencer stood awkwardly in the door of Ella's kitchen. It was Saturday morning and Ella had pulled the pair aside during school the day before and asked them to come round.

"You can sit down" Ashley said smiling, and Spencer took note of the fact that she was clearly comfortable enough there to invite them into Ella's kitchen rather than waiting for the brunette to do it.

Knowing Jenna struggled more in places that she didn't know the layout of, Spencer linked arms with her and lead her into the room, helping the shorter girl into a seat before she took one herself. What she didn't see was look that was exchanged between the two women as they did so.

"Bizarre" Ella mouthed at her friend and Ashley just smiled back at her.

"We just wanted to invite you here to say thank you" Ashley continued.

"We really appreciate what you did for both of us this week. And on a more personal note, I really appreciated what you did for me. Both in the bathroom, before and after. The other reason you're here is because I wanted you both to be the first to know that I'm going to tell people about this baby as soon as I can so that you don't have to lie to your friends."

"It's fine" Spencer quickly jumped in. "Please don't rush because of us. We're happy to keep quiet for as long as you need us to."

"Thank you" Ella nodded "but unfortunately 'A' probably won't allow us that luxury."

"We're trying to work out who 'A' is" Jenna spoke this time. "At the moment we don't have much of an idea but I promise if we do find out we'll let you know before we do anything else."

"Definitely" Spencer agreed.

"Thank you" the older women both said together, and the group laughed.

"Drink?" Ashley offered heading over to one of the cabinets. Again Spencer took note of how at home she obviously was here.

"Thanks but we're going to go and see a movie" Spencer said and then looking at Jenna laughed. "Sorry, I'm going to go and see a movie, Jenna's going to come and listen to one."

Jenna just smiled.

"Right well then I guess we'd better not delay you any more…" Ashley couldn't help but look completely shocked and confused by what was going on.

"Thank you, for inviting us round."

"You're welcome" Ella said and then showed them out.

Once they'd gone she turned to her friend. "Well that was odd…"

"Completely insane" Ashley agreed. "Do you think the other girls know?"

Ella shrugged. "It's not our place to tell them. They're keeping our secrets. We owe it to them to keep theirs."

Outside in the car Jenna turned towards the drivers seat. "Was it just me or was Mrs Marin a little too comfortable for someone that's only stayed there for less than a week with someone she's been friends with for… what less than two months?"

"Well they always talked before but I've never known them to be that close" Spencer admitted. "And no it wasn't just you.

"Do you think something's going on?"

Spencer shrugged and then corrected herself. She was getting better with some things but there were habits that she was still struggling to break in terms of non-verbal communication. "I don't know."

"I think we're better off not knowing" Jenna replied. "We don't need anything else for 'A' to try and make us tell."

"Too true."

AE - AE - AE

Later that night the women were curled up on Ella's sofa together. "Ash, can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

Ella hesitated. "Am I supposed to say anything to Byron about, about what we know? Or do we just go on with our lives and forget him?"

"Do you think he needs to know?" Ashley asked looking at her carefully.

"I think when Aria and Mike go nuts he's going to find out we know anyway. So no. But I just wanted to check that I wasn't supposed to go and tell him what an asshole he is for what he did to you."

"Kinda goes without saying" the redhead mumbled. "And you're not supposed to be letting yourself get stressed at the moment anyway. If you wanted to talk to him then I am completely okay with that. But please don't feel you have to on my behalf. I have nothing left to say to Byron Montgomery."

"Ugh I hate that I still have his name."

"Well the marriage offer is technically still on the table so if you'd prefer you could have mine."

Ella laughed softly. "Don't tempt me." and Ashley squeezed her gently.

Things had been going well between them for the past couple of days. They hadn't kissed again since the incident on the sofa, but after Ashley showing her the scar on her chest there was definitely a change between them.

The other bit of good news was that Ella's morning sickness had almost subsided. True she had to empty her stomach once before the girls had come that morning, but that could have just been nerves.

"Right are we going to bed now? You really need to get your sleep you still need to catch up from last week."

"Hurrying to get me into bed?" Ella teased.

"Always" came the reply as Ashley pulled her to her feet.

They went and showered, Ella first then Ashley, before climbing into bed.

"Ugh I'm so hot, is this another side effect of pregnancy? I'm going to spend the next few months as a sweaty mess?"

Ashley laughed. "No it's called sleeping against someone else's body heat when the weather's started to warm up."

"Oh… sorry. Did you want me to keep to my own side?"

"No, we're still both in the bed so you'll be just as hot. Why don't you change into something thinner?"

"This is as thin as I own" groaned Ella. Her t-shirt was sticking to her body already and they'd been in bed for less than two minutes. "Ugh we're only under a thin sheet this is ridiculous."

Ashley giggled. "Okay grumpy. Well as we're under a sheet anyway why don't you take your t-shirt and bottoms off?"

Ella looked at her shocked. "What?"

"You have panties on right?"

"Well yes but…" Ella mumbled bright red.

Ashley smiled gently. "It's fine honey, it was just a suggestion. You don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with."

"You wouldn't mind?" Ella asked curiously.

"No"

"Will you do it too?"

"If you want me to. You've seen me with no top on anyway, and we're under the sheet this time so it's no problem for me. I trust you not to find me so irresistible you can't keep your hands off."

Ella giggled and turned pink. "Oh I'm sure I'll manage to control myself. Okay then… it does make more sense. It can't be good for the baby if I overheat."

"Exactly."

After an awkward under sheet manoeuvre the pair had pulled off t-shirts and their bottoms.

"This feels weird" Ella admitted.

"Well I am only the third person you've shared a bed with in so few clothes" teased Ashley.

Ella turned pink and hit her playfully. "Stop it, are you trying to make me blush?"

"Well actually" Ashley started and then giggled. "No, I'm not. You have no reason to be embarrassed by that. And again, if you're not comfortable I'll close my eyes and you can pull your t-shirt back on. I just didn't want you getting too hot." She looked at her friend. "And honestly you're going to be wearing a lot less when you give birth anyway."

Ella looked away. "Mmmm."

Ashley took her hand. "Still thinking about everything Zack said?"

"Yeah" Ella admitted. "I know you said I just have to let it go, but having every bad thing you've ever thought about yourself written down on paper like that and said to a total stranger…"

"I can't even imagine what that feels like sweetie" Ashley admitted. "Some of the things that Wilden said to me were fowl, but at least he said them to me and not a random stranger with a habit for sharing personal information."

"I bet that doesn't stop what he said hurting though. How do you do it Ash? When someone's picked everything about you apart in such a brutal way, how do you still look at yourself in the mirror the same way?"

"You think I've looked in the mirror recently?"

Ella looked at her sadly. "Don't say that. It makes me feel even more ridiculous for not being able to get past that letter. How can I be so weak when you have a physical reminder of what Wilden did to you and you're still so strong?"

Ashley shook her head. "I hate to remind you but you have a physical reminder of Zack too now. On that note actually, you know that you need to have a scan right? You're supposed to have one at twelve weeks and you have to be further gone than that."

"I know, I've been delaying. I'll book one in the morning."

"Sure?"

Ella nodded again, a look of determination on her face. She was sick of feeling like such a mess in comparison to Ashley. If her friend could deal with things so calmly, then she would too.

"Want me to come with you?"

Ella smiled gratefully. "Yes, please. And I know this sounds stupid but I'd feel better if I knew what to expect."

Ashley nodded. "They'll ask you how you're feeling and about things like the morning sickness, do a scan, take some blood, test your urine, and start to ask you about how you want to give birth. Oh and possibly about pre-natal classes and things like breastfeeding."

"Already?"

"I know that's a lot to think about."

"What do you think?" Ella asked nervously. "I know you don't really remember much of your pregnancies even with the extra memories that you now have, but any advice would be appreciated."

"I don't think I breastfed but I imagine that was due to having twins the first time and then just doing the same second time round."

Ella nodded. "I think I'd rather bottle feed too. I'll have to go back to work after a couple of months so I think that would be easiest."

"And you can change your mind at any point over the next few months" Ashley nodded. "And as far as giving birth…"

"Was Byron there?" The words had fallen out of Ella's mouth before she'd even had a chance to think.

Ashley looked sadly at her friend. "For the girls yes, but not for Mike."

"Because he shares my birthday…" Ella realised. "Did you… did you have to do it on your own?"

"Yes" Ashley replied quietly. "Not something I'd advise."

"I'm sorry."

There was a moment of awkward silence before Ashley shook her head. "No, don't be silly. It's not your fault and I'm sick of Byron making things awkward and weird between us."

"Will you be with me" Ella said quickly.

"Sorry?"

"You said that I shouldn't do it on my own. Aria isn't going to want to be there and I have no one else Ash. I didn't say when you first mentioned it because it seemed a little weird all things considered. But you're right. I'm sick of Byron screwing things up for us. You are my only friend and I don't want to do this alone."

"I'm there."

"Thank you. Oh god I need to pee again."

The redhead chuckled. "Another pregnancy side effect. I'll shut my eyes until I hear the bathroom door shut, just let me know when you're leaving so I can cover them again."

"No"

"Huh" Ashley looked at her confused.

"No, don't shut your eyes. I am DONE with the men in my life controlling everything I do. And you're going to see a hell of a lot more if you're going to be there when I have this baby anyway so I might as well just get over it. You're my best friend. If I can't be half naked with you then who can I be half naked with." And with that she pulled the sheet off herself and marched towards the bathroom.

Ashley laughed. Hormones were a funny thing.

* * *

**_There's your cute bit of fluff before everything goes to shit in the next chapter. ;) Just as a little preview you can expect them to tell the kids the truth plus Ashley and Ella have their first proper fight. It's very long and a LOT happens. I'm very excited for you to read it - hope you all enjoy. _**

**_I'm back at work tomorrow after finishing uni a couple of weeks ago so I won't be able to post in the morning. But I get home about 2:30pm(GMT) so hopefully I'll be able to post some more then if people are ready for it. :)_**

**_Hope you all have a fab Monday kids. -C_**


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